Reviews for Weep the Ugly Duckling, be the Beautiful Swan
MagpieCat chapter 1 . 2/19/2011
i like the way you twisted words. it fit with the poem, i think.

it was a bit odd the way i understood it...

didn't think she deserved to become a swan if she just cried it all away and left it all behind.
Thoth Tarot chapter 1 . 1/26/2011
i feel like its a painting of a beautiful swan weeping and each of the tears were represented by feathers and ugly ducklings. a surreal image. i like the way the words twisted so you almost understood yet still felt perplexed.
Kagennotsuki chapter 1 . 1/15/2011
It really is a change for me to be reading poetry, which can be so very brief. I have always been somewhat intimidated by works like yours with no set rhyming scheme or similar structure, as I struggle to understand them. Most poems I read, including this one, make me say, "I didn't really get it, but it was interesting."

One thing that bothers me is that I don't understand, grammatically, what to make of the line "The utmost gross to becoming". Even reading the entire sentence, "For it was the only way to sever the utmost gross to becoming..." I fail to understand even on a surface level what you mean. I looked up several of those words in a dictionary and still couldn't piece it together. Is it just me? Or perhaps the line is unclear and needs to be reworked?

There is little else I can properly remark upon, so I'm glad I can at least raise this point to your attention. It seems that the more poems I read, the less I understand about them all. How curious!

In any case, I like the imagery you used: the crying of feathers, and such. Thank you for the interesting read.

-Kagennotsuki
BookcraZzaY chapter 1 . 1/13/2011
its very sad and I'm horrible at reviewing...

at least she turns into a swan at the end. It's just really really really really sad until the last line and the line A "beautiful swan forever." is my fave because of that.

C: