Reviews for Pádraig, Sé do Bheatha Bhaile
The Red Raven chapter 1 . 1/24/2012
I liked how you wrote was written in a style similar to classical literature.

Patrick is so easy to sympathize,maybe because I see a bit of myself in of us possess a patriotic zeal for "Mother Eire" as I like to I feel like I would've been acted like Patrick if I was in his situation.
Raven of Morrigu chapter 1 . 6/12/2011
If what Connor said about Ireland was true,I'd die from sadness.
Nesasio chapter 1 . 5/25/2011
"...at last reached a achieved a..."

-Something up here but not really sure on the edit. :)

"... and there are no need for such apologies."

-'are' should be 'is'

Such a sad story here! Not brain-bashing obvious but a compounding tragedy as the story goes on that's fascinating to read. I loved how you set up Connors as so completely uninterested in the heart of the things he's speaking of, about Irish culture and the arts he claims to love so much. His language and actions set him up from the start (the fish-greasy fingers as he faux-reverently shook Patrick's hand especially stuck out in my mind) as such a magnificent bastard that I couldn't wait to see Patrick literally or figuratively slap him in the face and walk away. The fact that he didn't, and eventually saw Connors' way was a surprise and it's quite hard to surprise me in stories, hah. Quite refreshing.

Overall I liked this story, but the pacing toward the end was a little strange to me. First Patrick gets up to leave and makes a point of saying so (or thinking so at least) then sits down to hear more; while this makes sense from a characterization standpoint, it does pose a small flow problem in that the reader is led to believe the story will now progress at a different pace or direction when instead it goes back to what it was doing. Then, after Patrick gives in and decides to go with Connors' proposition, the scene very suddenly/without warning changes to another time, place, and POV character. Without transition, I was confused for a couple sentences there. The rest of the story is quite smooth so the difference at the end stood out a bit to me. Not jarringly so but memorable.
LiberryBooked chapter 1 . 5/15/2011
When I read through the first couple paragraphs I was amused as well as a little confused. So I had to reread it to make sure I had read it correctly, which I had. It was a amusing opening and definitely captured my attention.

I didn't enjoy this piece as much as I had hoped to. While the beginning captivated me, your style of writing in this piece was too slow to keep my interest.

I think it would help if you didn't describe things in such detail. Your writing in this piece was a little grandiose and overwhelming.

I enjoyed your use of dialogue, but at the same time would have preferred if some of the longer sections of dialogue were broken up with movements or actions from the characters. I feel like it would make it more realistic.

All in all a well written piece, albeit not my style.
What Happens Now chapter 1 . 5/6/2011
The beginning was nice enough, considering the nature of the plot I think it was a good call with your choice of an opening. By reading the details of the story you get pulled in more than any misleading opening. I do have some trouble following with the events, I'm not sure if Patrick is not but from the intricacy of the details I think he is.

I like that title, it took me awhile to translate it but I like what is tells me might just happen, or something else; very cool.
Elennar chapter 1 . 1/25/2011
Writing:

For me, the main problem I had with the writing was it was kind of... hot and cold for me. While in parts, I found it to be extremely engaging (specifically, the part where Patrick talks about the legends of Ireland), while in others, I found it to be dull, to the point that I was tempted to skim.

Dialogue:

I liked the dialogue in this piece a lot! Connor's lines especially, I found to be extremely electrifying; and in parts even poetic: so good job with that one!

Scene:

Before the part Patrick enters the pub, I found your imagery to be a little vague, which kept me from easily imagining the scene and the setting.

However, after he enters the pub, that definitely improved. I could picture the scene perfectly in my mind's eye which helped to hook me in.

Enjoyment:

Well, given the fact that this genre of writing is really, really not my cup of tea, I'd have to say that I did fairly enjoy it. I appreciated the way in which you handled Connor's and Patrick's interactions.
pokinbigfire chapter 1 . 1/22/2011
Cillian

I absolutely loved this. Southern Irish culture is the ideal setting to develop theme you have chosen to explore. Yours is a universal theme examining the conflict between what artists want to give,and need to feed back to their culture , what the current money men and media allow them to do, and most of those b*stards aren't even vaguely concerned with art or literature unless they can siphon the last Euro of a charity or EU grant.

I'm a big fan of Pieg Sayers and Thomas O'Crohan and I can fully understand why Patrick O'Mathers felt the way he did about Connors opera. The idea of the opera is both f*cking hilarious and sad .

The opening. I got the immediate sense that here's guy who, like other artists takes the world inside himself and when he gets

angry, its against his own sense of impotence and not the things

that make him feel like that. I also like the way you show use how he hears a thousand blended voices with his writer's ear.

(Was that a deliberate bit of self parody-should he have been listening to a thousand blended notes like Wordsworth did describing a waterfall -and your man's surrounded by tourists

and seagulls fighting over scraps on the Liffy bank.)

Things move on Patrick O'Mather's and you're still thinking in images and prose dense as a bank of mussel shells at low tide. You've got my sympathy but I don't feel sorry for what's coming to you- you should punch Connors right on his fat nose and walk away. You want to sit on your a*se and write, fine. The guys that went before you all lived hard physical lives and made no money from their storytelling . So you set up your own dilemma taking by the shilling.

The story flows well, very well and if you know the history of Irish culture , and if you're a reader glancing down at my review to see if you're going to dip into Cillian's work here,and you don't know this stuff , spend a day go and find out about it as you read because it really is worth it- this isn't your quick sugar-fix story it's got depth and and tells of what happens when you come to deal with the conflict between what your real

self knows it should be doing and what you have to do to eat.-

And in one way or another , reader , you're going to have this moment as well. But her's the thing, the culture that would allow you to do what comes naturally has gone, so what do you do. In Ireland it didn't 'vanish '- it was systematically destroyed and the reader might find some rather uncomfortable truths when you start looking at your own culture.

So my advice is, unless you are a Robin Flower-type, leave this work to one side , and when you have time go and google The Blasket Islands and get a bit of the background to Irish history ,then use this little microcosm on the Islands to understand the role of artists and writers which comes naturally as the tides and the weather to the storytellers and that world has been replaced by trash, picked over by the gull-beaked money men, and most of us don't even know it.

It really is worth reading.