longer please next time :) lovvved it

! :O I didn't even think of the possibility that he would be lying. OH MY GOD HE SHOULD SO BE LYING! Then this story would go from really good to SUPER AMAZING! :D UPDATE SOON!

fantastic, you better update soon! you have about 600 comments, way over 8. LOL.

Great story, it's bloody brillient. *)

woot!

and i can't tell whether she'll end up with alex or jason...

ugh thomas that jerk :(

Goths are usually cheerful! I know what you mean though and it is a good attempt to challenge our perceptions of the character after the brief introduction in chapter 1.

I think you have a good idea and I like the multiple pov. You do rush through things though and could really add in some more detail to extend the sections. Your dialogue is very broken up and back-and-forth, really short sentences so it is a bit disjointed to read. You could maybe combine some of the dialogue so each character has longer speeches which might help it flow more smoothly.

Your description of the events at the party are good, you create a nicely claustrophobic atmosphere.

Uh-oh hahahaha awesome chapter.

Loved this chapter :) aw hot trainer :D please update soon

Oooh niicceee :D As always, loved it ;) And just so you know I'm not just saying that. I really do love all of them xD Haha, I'm starting to really like John. I mean... I kinda imagined him only in his boxers...it seemed attractive :P

looove this.

Haha She's Got a Hot Trainer ;) Ooh I Wonder How Old He is...Maybe Sparks will Flow xD

Guilty! I put this story under story alert, but never really reviewed! :) Whoops...! So far I love it (i'm a new reader btw) and I really look forward to reading the rest! I hope you update soon, but all writers no that no matter how much you mean well into putting in the work, it just never happens until you least expect it! (At least for me anyway) I hope this counts in your view count, because I would REALLY wanna read more of this story! Keep up the great work! :)

-JustPeachy333

Hi there.

The large chunk of dialogue at the start is a bit offputting as each line of dialogue is quite short so it is a bit disjointed to read. Although you repeat some of the things we know from the exchange (her weight, the ugliest girl thing) I like the summary Isabella gives about herself and her family. It is nicely succinct and a better way of sharing the information. Also she sounds very matter of fact and not bitter. I think you could probably lose some of that information from the dialogue.

You jump quite abruptly to the scene at the end of the school day. It is always hard to make these transitions, maybe you could stick a row of stars or something to show there is a break.

The after school scene is very brutal to read and well written though I think you could have extended it by describing her feelings at various points.

A couple of style points: 'Everybody who was still around us, began laughing at me.' You don't need a comma in this sentence. Also use a comma not a full stop before closing speech marks then don't start the he/she with a capital (I get that wrong loads of the time too).

Hope that is useful, I'll read the other chapters when I get time soon.

It's going great and I like it a lot so far.(:

Loved it! But you probably already knew that xD Sorry if I didn't review last time ( or maybe I did I don't remember ;p) Anyway I'm not gonna ,make up excuses like " Oh I was busy " the truth is I forgot. I really did. See, I don't always read the authors note at the end ( yeah yeah, sue me xD ) and I know you always mention something about reviewing but since I don't read it I forget, just like that and I go on to my next story:P