|Reviews for Latest Mistake|
| Negasi chapter 1 . 3/20/2011
What I like about this piece is that the language is very "epic" so to speak and that and the subject matter just seems really deep. Keep writing, I really enjoyed that! :).
| StoryMonster chapter 1 . 2/12/2011
I liked your comparison to a candle, it made the poem all the more interesting.
Your vocabulary is excellent.
| Vegetarian Meatballs chapter 1 . 1/25/2011
Wow! I thought this was a really great piece. I liked the candle analogy and how you ended the poem. Nice work!
| Insanity Streak chapter 1 . 1/21/2011
I really liked the idea that you presented in the first stanza, about the candle and your confidence. I find it quite clever actually.
I also find the last stanza a tad bitter but then turns hopeful- it like it. The persona feels that he is going to make the same mistake but then realises that on this occasion it might not be so. So for me, it feels like the persona is going "should I or shouldn't I put my trust into this situation" No one likes reliving mistakes and you capture this perfectly in this last stanza.
Another great piece as usual. Keep writing.
| HarryGinnyDxC chapter 1 . 1/16/2011
Very good poem, your poetry is very nice!
| fleur de l'est chapter 1 . 1/16/2011
good lexicon :)
| nickyO chapter 1 . 1/16/2011
I absolutely love the candle analogy, how true and fresh a thought. The hopeful, excited, but trying to talk yourself out and then back into those feelings is wonderfully alive. Great job with this one.
| Melanie Layugan chapter 1 . 1/16/2011
This speaks out to me in a way that is inspiring and empowering, despite the title. Keep hoping hun, and never give up!
| Punslinger chapter 1 . 1/15/2011
"But suddenly learning that I'm allowed to view your empyrean presence."-A teriffic line packed with subtle and overt emotional impact.
A remarkable poem of turbulent thoughts and feelings. The lack of punctuation helps to make the flow as uncertain as life itself.
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 1/15/2011
The beginning part seemed phrased oddly with saying it was repetitively lit and then blown out because it was only repetitively lit because it was blown out.
"In a few days instantaneously moves my lifetime fretfulness to a"... instantaneously doesn't work here grammatically you'd need it to be "A few days instantaneously" or change that word.
I felt like it could also use some punctuation just to help the flow a bit. I was confused at points to whether or not a line was a continuation of the line before it.
Anyway, I did like the piece. Your word choices were really wonderful. I also thought the ending was great. It sort of summed up the whole piece. Nice job!
PS Check out the Review Game and/or it's Review Marathon (links in my profile)
| HeroofEnelios chapter 1 . 1/15/2011
Another lovely poem from you. This one is quite the poem especially and I loved the end. :)
| Random-Idiocity chapter 1 . 1/15/2011
Yay. A new writing! It's really good too. I especially like the title, it draws you in. Then you read it, & you're like wow. Great job. Keep it Up!