this is such a powerful piece filled with emotion, i choked up reading it you are an amazing writer

xx

OMG... I love the end, when you're repeating what you said in the beginning; makes this text a lot deeper.

In my opinion, there were a few too many adjectives; I think the image would stay the same even if you took out a few. But don't mind me; I still like this text!

Keep writing :)

I LOVE this so much! I really enjoyed the ending when you repeated what was written in the beginning! This was so well done I had so many good pictures in my head! It was so sad and so good at the same time! :) I love how you right!

very good story i love it, really nice and realistic. defo want to read more of your stuff!