|Reviews for down|
| this-is-silence chapter 2 . 10/6/2011
I also love this one. I've recently been studying form, so I appreciate your use of it in this poem. The shorter first lines in each couplet work very well in contrast to the longer lines, and it feels like a deft use of language that works on several levels.
I'm a huge fan of rhyming as well. However, can I admit that the first rhyme simply doesn't work well for me? Strictly my opinion, but the choice to use the word "fame" felt completely off in regards to the rest of the poem-not only in scheme, but in context. I'm not sure how to properly explain myself, so maybe I'm off on this one...
Anyways, I look forward to reading the rest of these sometime.
| this-is-silence chapter 1 . 10/6/2011
I'm definitely digging this.
There's just something about the way you word everything, and are both matter of fact and nonchalant, that really makes this piece work. I read it through several times just to keep feeling what it was making me feel. Very raw and real and beautiful and intelligent. The brevity works to your advantage.
I love it.
| Little girl Big world chapter 17 . 4/25/2011
the title sums up the poem very nicely. well written
| Little girl Big world chapter 16 . 4/25/2011
"make my castle
smash my crown"
completely agree with the authors note.
| Little girl Big world chapter 15 . 4/25/2011
your words and the way you arrange them to say things that are so powerful just continue to astound me. great work!
| Little girl Big world chapter 14 . 4/25/2011
i like this. short and to the point.
| Little girl Big world chapter 12 . 4/25/2011
i find your smooth rhymes so incredible :)
| Little girl Big world chapter 11 . 4/25/2011
LOVE the alliteration. amazing
| Little girl Big world chapter 10 . 4/25/2011
wow this was powerful. love the word choice. keep it up, you've always had a talent with words.
| cab fed hig chapter 16 . 2/12/2011
rhymes don't exactly flow well,
but quite angsty as you intended
| ilikecrackers chapter 1 . 2/7/2011
| atomic-pocket-watch chapter 14 . 1/29/2011
This is so beautiful, because it's sometimes ugly. :D jolly well done monsieur/madame :)
| 3M2R chapter 1 . 1/28/2011
Pretty piece of writing. Short yet straight to the point.
Just a little incoherent in terms of flow, otherwise a good read.
| Voldemort chapter 13 . 1/28/2011
Feeling that 'salvation' poem, you muggle.
| cab fed hig chapter 11 . 1/21/2011
ooh really like this one. so intense