Reviews for Sprite
MejraThea chapter 87 . 2/1
I have just finished reading this for the 4th time, and I still love it. I look forward to reading it asgain in a year!
MejraThea chapter 88 . 5/13/2013
So, I just retread Sprite for the second, or third?, time, and I love it more and more everytime. I just have one suggestion, when you ended it, after Norah and Breyan arrived in fairy, it would have been nice to hear her offer to make him a weave, 'when her hair is long enough.'
Artemis7337 chapter 88 . 2/26/2013
Thank you so much for writing this. I know I haven't reviewed for seventy chapters or so, but it was really a great ride and getting Sprite updates in my inbox was always a fun addition to my day. I loved every second of this story and I look forward to seeing any other stories you may write!
Ash chapter 66 . 12/4/2012
Hi, I've been following this story since half way through, and though I don't usually give reviews I just wanted to say that this is an awesome and imaginative story, and that I hope that you continue!
advertisement chapter 75 . 9/16/2012
READ THE PEARL OF POWER
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Listen and Fly chapter 72 . 8/12/2012
I am very sorry, but I have lost my interest in your story. It's a bit too slow paced for my taste. I really liked your beginning, because there is more action and activity going on. As it progressed however, it just got more and more bland. I do not mean to say that your writing is bad, for this story is one of the error-less ones, but you really need more actions and activities going on.

But good job on managing to sustain your story for so long. Most would have just given up already.

Cheers
Kat
Swallow-tailed Kite chapter 38 . 9/21/2011
UPDATE! I'll yell it to you in your room if you don't update. ;D

Sprite reminds me of the drink: Sprite...
artemis7337 chapter 38 . 9/20/2011
Aww, poor Norah is lonely. That's so sad, but she's what? Thirteen? Worse things could happen at that age ;)

To the meat of the matter:

This chapter was pretty short, and seemed like a filler. I'm not sure what you're planning for the big meeting between Norah and Neistah, but the story is beginning to ramble in my opinion. The suspense held for a few chapters, but the near miss is far behind now and there is no climax/action in sight. The story is never dull, but things seem to be going slowly in the pacing department.

The bit about Patrick was a little strange. What's up with the clicking and dog stuff? Is he a werewolf? He seems like an interesting enough character, but I hope you'll explain why he's necessary to the plot.

Roselle is so cool. I love how good of a friend she is, but she's a bit of a ditz, to trust so blindly in her hope that Will and her can spend their lives together. It seems a bit early for family planning. Her character is bright and spunky though, and I really like it.

I liked the chapter, but it seemed like a filler and didn't have any real action. I hope Patrick will be explained, and we'll get some excitement, because, as I mentioned, the story has slowed down on the drama. Other than those points, I thought it was excellent and I can't wait for the next installment!
artemis7337 chapter 35 . 8/28/2011
It's so evil, how you keep me in suspense like this! We got so close, but Norah was just a few factory levels too high. Darn :)

I love your writing, there's not much to critique. It's interesting how badly iron affects Neistah, and how much humans taint his world. One really gets the feeling that neither species should be interacting with the other at all.

And that was just a crack up, that Neistah thought that Lou was Datro's Sprite. Even with mind reading and all of Neistah's other supernatural powers, he still doesn't know that it's his own daughter that's been following in his footsteps. Ironic and awesome.

*Sigh* But they still haven't met! There must be a return trip, so that Neistah can find out the truth! The suspense is killing me, please update soon :)
artemis7337 chapter 34 . 8/21/2011
Aww, I was so hopeful for the epic meeting! Now I'm in suspense until the next chapter arrives!

I thought that, despite it being Nesitah's plan to visit Datro's Sprite, our favorite man-sprite's inclusion in this chapter was of secondary interest. It followed the emotions and thoughts of the Datro escapees more, only briefly giving impressions of Neistah's thoughts. Though the chapter was interesting, vital, and beautiful (as always), I didn't get the impression that it was ABOUT Neistah.

I wonder how this new twist will play out, people knowing that Norah is female. It could be problematic for her if the word got back to Datro and her grandpa saw her sneaking around at night. It also makes me wonder how she's going to rescue changelings if her grandfather is keeping such close watch on her.

I'm really looking forward to the next chapter. The meeting from Norah's view is going to be awesome, provided you don't let another chapter go without them seeing each other. Please don't leave me hanging for too long!
artemis7337 chapter 33 . 8/16/2011
That was very elegant, how you showed Roselle finding out about Norah. I love how it was the very first time she was in on the job that she found out. It was nice that you showed Roselle's growing openmindedness toward changelings. With Will, she was disgusted and betrayed, with Norah she was just betrayed. All in all, really well done.

The last bit of the chapter was important, but once again I wasn't feeling the drama. I didn't really get a tone of surprise or dread, it seemed a little disconnected. I'm also wondering about Neistah. He doesn't seem to have an actual goal here, while Norah's plot is very well defined. Can you give a small glimpse of what you've got planned for him?

I thought this was yet another great chapter. Aside from those minor quibbles above, I really enjoyed it. I'll be sure to check the site for your next chapter, and I hope it will be up soon!
artemis7337 chapter 32 . 8/5/2011
I think your writing is beautiful. I can perfectly imagine all of your descriptions, and I think the writing of Norah's character is beautifully done. I love the comparison when we switch off the POVs, between Neistah, who isn't a particularly caring man, and Norah, who is very kind and uncertain. All in all, I would buy this book off a shelf once it's done.

My one little critique is that the last two chapters have been low on drama. While it is nice to see her efforts to help the changelings grow, it feels like she's being a little cavalier with letting people get close to seeing her fins. I wonder how Roselle would react if she knew that her best friend had been a mutant all along.

Very well done, I look forward to future updates. Thanks for putting such a great story up for people like me to read!
artemis7337 chapter 30 . 7/25/2011
I'm not entirely sure why this story doesn't have more reviews. I personally found it to be amazing, high-quality, addictive, and just all around great. Your writing is fantastic, I have nothing but praise. Now I'm just hungry for the next chapter, so that I can continue praising your writing. I seriously spent the past two days reading all thirty chapters, and I'm very curious about what will happen to Norah and what new trouble Neistah will cook up for himself. Great job, and like I said, I'll be waiting for the next chapter!
Dr. Self Destruct chapter 1 . 6/12/2011
This is indeed a unique story with a setting I haven't seen used very often. This is good, it shows you can create your own worlds with vibrant characters and creatures. Definitely a needed skill when dealing with fantasy, and Neistah is a rare breed indeed. This chapter is very thought provoking - what could they possibly want from this teenager? What type of experiments are they planning to perform on him? What other kinds of interactions have humans had with these mutants? It is questions like these that make a reader want to keep reading in order to find the answers.

Your descriptions and dialogue are also nicely done. I could perfectly picture the little house in the beginning of the chapter, as well as Neistah's unusual appearance. Good job with that. :)
5popcorn99 chapter 1 . 4/13/2011
An interesting first chapter. I like how it mentioned the sprite's pov and them back to the human's point of view. I also liked how could keep a serious plot, but still keep humor in the story. Keep writing.
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