|Reviews for The People's Blessing|
| lookingwest chapter 1 . 8/22/2011
Whoooop, after this I will have reviewed over half of your works and have only like 15 left to review! I feel like I am slowly accomplishing something pretty awesome seeing as you have so many stories, XD.
Aight' so this was a really good follow up to ThoughtNet, I thought, and quite convenient that it was next in the line up of stuff I haven't reviewed, XD. I just thought they kind of felt on the same weird dystopian "everyone-together-now!" vibe of sci-fi. Of course, even if this wasn't sci-fi...it was more like, The-Giver-like to me or something, BUT, anyway, I liked it, and I like that you chose to show us this world by giving us a couple and a romance, too. Of course, I hope that if you ever do turn this into a novella, you don't spend the entire time with this story and then have this be the ending because that would be a total downer for everyone who wanted these guys to hook up.
The big feature in this of the People and the rights of their society were a big draw-in and I thought they were well explained. You paced your information so that nothing felt like a huge information dump. I kind of felt like the moment when Kallie was asking about the blindfold though, was a bit staged, as if she was asking because the reader would ask, but that was the only little section that I felt didn't fit in naturally. Everything else worked to convey the themes and the idea that you can't trust Paradise, or maybe that there is no such thing. It's a dark message, and I feel like you didn't give us a huge hope for an alternative as far as what the Outsiders' lives are like, especially for Kallie.
Kallie comes to me as a bit of a helpless character-I think that might be why she died in the end, too. I felt like she didn't do much to control her own destiny, but then again, she did put an awful lot of trust in Gareth and how was he to know any better?
I liked the whole mythology of the Great Mother, it actually *really* reminds me of the novel Herland by Charlotte Perkins-Gilman. If you do choose to continue this story, I highly recommend reading it just for some ideas. The story there is about a Utopia made only of women, but the concept of the Great Mother and the start of their society kind of rang with this short story, so that was kind of cool. I liked the whole eleven children thing, and then especially the grape vine and the drinking of the wine. Everything was really eery without there even being a really descriptive setting because Kallie is blindfolded. Gareth gives us just enough to keep us going and I liked that too.
I think this and ThoughtNet were definitely two of my favorites tonight-perhaps this one taking the first place It was great and I liked the ending! (just not for a longer novella, XD).
| FrankieHaydn chapter 1 . 4/2/2011
This is brilliant! I love the world you have created, and you write really well. I want to read more! I liked the 'Great Mother' myths, and the concept of the perfect world- The Outsiders and The People. It has great potential, and it reads well... write more :D
| thefaultinourpatronus chapter 1 . 1/20/2011
I think the idea is really great. Is it a sort of supernatural? I love the beginning, and the parts with Kallie and Gareth, they're really sweet with each other and I think that's nice! What I don't like is the lack of description. Maybe it's just me; I tend to describe everything! Great start!