Reviews for Facebook Official
Acc.Disabled chapter 1 . 6/29/2011
,

Aw, wow. I really, really enjoyed this! The characters were fantastic and very easy to empathise with; I have to admit, I have a particular soft spot for Anton. Something about his reserved demeanour, his honesty and straightforwardness, his (temporarily) unrequited love for Cassie . . .

It was really well-written and the rapport between characters was utterly believable. I honestly felt for Freya when Cassie was taking out her emotions on her. I loved that Cassie had her flaws, too-saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, her indecisiveness-it all made for a likable character. Ending on the relationship status was just adorable; I'm so happy Anton found his happy ending, and I hope Cassie goes on to realise that so has she.

Thanks for such a great read!

~
DancingChaChaFruit chapter 1 . 6/28/2011
I would like to start this review by saying that it’s going to be a bit of a two-for-one special. I first read your oneshot “Blue Eyes” when it was added to a C2 I’m subscribed to. I thought it was cute and clever, but something about your writing seemed a little unpolished. Then I went to your profile and saw “Facebook Official.” The name alone intrigued me, so I clicked and began reading. And even just a couple of paragraphs in I was blown away by how different the two stories were. Although, looking back at “Blue Eyes,” I can now see your writing was still very good all ten months prior to the publication of “Facebook Official,” something about “FB Official” struck me from the very beginning.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. I’m a big fan of constructive reviews, so let me first start off with a couple of minor things I think you could do to improve your story (which, granted, should be taken with a grain of salt, as I’m no editor or anything). Then I will follow up by telling you why your story rocks.

There were a couple of inconsistencies in the story that I was confused by. First things first: why was there a frat party over New Years when most students are at home (since most colleges give off for a month or so for the holidays)? Secondly: Cassie mentions at one point that she got a text from her parents letting her know not to wait for her (which was fine, since it’s not uncommon for college students to live at home to save money), but then later, when she has her fight with Freya and Eric, you set the scene by mentioning that they are hanging out in her dorm room. So does she live at home or in a dorm? The only other thing I have to mention is that some of the “witty repartee” (for lack of better expression) between some of the characters is a little overdone. For example, when they are leaving the movie theater and Cassie is babbling on about popcorn, I found myself skipping over some of the dialogue to get to the rest of the story. I understand moments like these are important to character development, but in my own nonprofessional opinion I feel they could be dialed down a bit. But as I said, take it with a grain of salt.

That wasn’t so bad now, was it? Now onto why this story rocks! (Which is most definitely did.)

Your character development was amazing. While I felt that the characters in “Blue Eyes” were a little lacking in substance, the characters you’ve developed even in the one shot feel so much like real people I might see around my own college campus. (Even Sieg was fairly well-developed for a peripheral character. I find it a bit odd that we hardly know anything about him since Cassie was in love with him for a year, but I think this works very well in the story. It makes us realize the lack of substance in her relationship with him, standing in stark contrast to her close relationship with Anton.)

I loved Cassie’s friendship with Freya and Eric. There were times I found myself laughing out loud at some of the things they said.

I think your dialogue and emotions were very well-portrayed. Cassie’s fight with Freya and Eric, in particular, was extremely well-done. You really seemed to capture human emotion and how we relate to other people.

Also, I thought the ending was fine! Although you posted this several months ago, I just wanted to let you know that I don’t think a rewrite of the ending necessary.

Congratulations on a fantastic one-shot! Hopefully I’ve said everything I wanted to say in this review, and I think I will be keeping my eye out for more from you. :)
Kelly Quirk chapter 1 . 6/24/2011
I'm not a writer but stumbled across your story. It was a good story - very well written.
silentsings chapter 1 . 6/9/2011
Oh my gosh. That is /the/ most epic one-shot I have ever read in my entire friggin life!

I just ... I love your writing style and your plot, and really? Everything about this. When you first introduced Anton, I knew I was going to like him. Haha, who wouldn't? :P Now you've got me liking Sweden ...

You had me holding my breath, waiting for the next scene to start, and I had that, "OH EM GEE, BEST STORY EVER, SQUEAL!" kind of look on my face, when I had to turn to do something else. You gave me so much energy just by writing this, and I was really jumpy, cos I wanted to get back to the story. I honestly wanted to slap Cassie, after she slept with Anton and told him that she had no feelings for him. Trust me, I wanted to /cry/, haha. I knew they would end up together in the end, but I still felt, I don't know, sad?

Anton is such a sweet-heart. GAH. :)

It's a masterpiece, very well done. :) I applaud you.

I couldn't catch any mistakes, but I'm sure there were a few, maybe cos I was lazy to, but eh. Whatever. They weren't major.

I'll stop my gushing now. Added to favorites, obviously. I'll be checking your other stories. :)

Congratulations, your story is the first that I actually gushed and squealed over for the past few days. Thank you for writing that!

- silentsings
dust and glitter chapter 1 . 6/8/2011
Awh, I certainly hope you found your Anton :) This story was fantastic! I love how you wrote Anton, in love but not pathetic. I hate it when author's write the love-sick male putting up with absolute sh*t for nothing. Have some self-respect, people! Haha. Really, this was awesome so keep up the wonderful writing!

yours,

D&Gxxxx
SylvesterTheCat chapter 1 . 5/29/2011
I finished in the span of about an hour yesterday.

I'm so shocked by the writing in this story. It's so wonderful, and the way you describe everything; it's like a scene where I can picture it in my head.

I love Erica and Freya's relationship. It's so odd and quirky.

The funny thing is that we as readers know about Cassie's crush on Siegfried, but never actually heard her in a conversation with him. Near the end, it dawned on me how hard she tried. I think that was the coolest part.

Hm... Anton. *sighs*

I don't know why, but his reserved personality kind of slapped me upside the head and shot an arrow through my heart. In other words; I'm completely in love with him!

I also love the way that you showed Cassie's imperfections. She's not perfect, and said things that weren't right. I think she also tries to hard to make everyone happy.

Ah... I guess I'm done now. :D

I hope you post a new One shot soon!
JCqueen chapter 1 . 5/27/2011
this story was the best! you did a great job on it! I really like it and wish there was more but I know that the ending was practically perfect so I have no problem with this story being a oneshot... It was so fun reading this... Keep up the great work! :)

xoxo JCqueen
HypotheticalYes chapter 1 . 5/1/2011
This is so fantastic! I really, really liked it. I wanted to shake Cassie so many times! Well done!
ChocoResha chapter 1 . 4/28/2011
Aww, I really like it
mesweetescape chapter 1 . 4/23/2011
amazing, as always (;
SometimesG chapter 1 . 4/2/2011
long but a good story...love the way you started and ended with FB.

Anton is sweet... and Cassie is just funny and crazy along with her best friends.
cerulean-azure chapter 1 . 4/1/2011
Anton is so UNBELIVABLY SWEET! Hahas I like how Cassie was so honest most of the time :)
Letham chapter 1 . 3/30/2011
Wonderful! I love Anton & Cassie, quite so very much.

I already am infatuated with long one shots, but yours just made me adore them all the more.
Cheryl White chapter 1 . 3/30/2011
I've got to say - that was the longest oneshot I have ever read. BUT I ABSOLUTELY LOVED EVERY SINGLE BIT OF IT. LOVE. HAHAHA. I love the way you write! It's practically flawless. Not the mention the PLOT. I LOVED IT. There were so many bits that just made me laugh out loud, and I feel like I know each and every one of the characters. It's amazing. The only thing I'd recommend though is splitting this into more chapters. It IS a oneshot, technically, but I'm pretty sure you could split this into at least three chapters. I'm certain that you would've gotten much more reviews that way because this is an awesome piece of work. No doubt it was a rush of inspiration because everything was smoothly done and well-written. I could imagine the words just flowed right out. THANK YOU FOR THE WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE OF READING THIS STORY. I'D DEFINITELY RECOMMEND THIS. TEEHEE.
hehehehah chapter 1 . 3/29/2011
Aweh, that was one long BUT cute one shot! I believe your first - fifth paragraph totally hooked me in. I love how you connected it all to Facebook. Definitely love the characters. There was several times in which I was REALLY exasperate at Cassie but am really surprised to find that I still like her very much and was on her side. You made her very lovable. _ A real talent. I was also happy to find that you didn't make Maja and Sieg jerks. Hahahha. I admit though, the part that they had sex took me by surprised but I think that was just me. Like it totally works and all, just...surprised. LOL. Loved it. Antons real quirky but awesome.

It's pretty interesting how it's inspired from ur life.

Anyway, I really enjoyed reading it. Thanks.
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