Reviews for Facebook Official |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Heh. Relationships on facebook are so dramatic. :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() a very long oneshot but i like long stories. ;) cassie had her flaws, but i'm glad they ended up together in the end. anton was my fave character. meeting your own anton is cool. ;) |
![]() ![]() ![]() I really enjoyed reading this. You're writing style is very well developed, and stayed consistent throughout the entire story. It was a great oneshot. It didn't take too long to read, and it was long enough to tell the whole story, and leave us wanting more, but also satisfy our needs :) There are only two things I would change. In the theater scene, when they are all meeting up, you first say: ""Yep," I nodded, "we're watching The Thin Line." Maja shot her brother a sideway glance that was incredibly telling. "Really?" A smile was beginning to form on her perfectly glossed pink lips. "That's what Anton wanted to watch, too"" Then, again, you say: ""Which movie are you and your friends watching, Cassie?" Maja asked me, but, judging from the expectant smile on her face, I was sure she already knew the answer. "The Thin Line," I replied" So it repeats itself. The last thing I would change is, when Cassie tells Anton she loves him, and he says "really?" she says "No." and there is no explanation as to why she said it in the first place, or why she took it back so suddenly. I know she didn't love him yet, but she shouldn't have said it if she knew that. And even if she did say it, she should have explained why she took it back, rather than leaving it at no. The whole story works though. I liked it a lot. Happy writing, ~Chelsey |
![]() ![]() This story was amazing. I like that it was a long one-shot, because this is a story I didn't wanted to end too soon. Keep writing! - Lenny |