|Reviews for Plans of Revenge|
| Ed Harley chapter 3 . 6/26/2013
Readers shouldn't be so judgmental. All superheroes are stalkers at heart- always sneaking around at night and watching people.
| Ed Harley chapter 1 . 6/19/2013
"Stop mocking me!" - it's refreshing to see characters take on the narrator, good for him.
“I like to walk”- that's as good an explanation as most superheroes got.
| Spiral Architect chapter 22 . 8/28/2011
So the misadventures of Andrew Lau finally come to a close. I don't really have anything constructive to say about the last few chapters; they were all (especially the Chargers fan, round 2) hilarious. There's a few missing endings on words but nothing too major. All in all, great job with this.
| Spiral Architect chapter 18 . 8/6/2011
Sorry I forgot to review regularly (I was gonna do it every 3 chapters) but I got too sucked into the humor. The randomness of the story isn't too out of control where it becomes lame (See: Zippy the Pinhead, newspaper comic. And to all the haters: loosen up. If you were paying attention in the slightest, you'd see the genre was Humor/Parody. This is exactly what I would expect from a good humor story, although I'm not exactly sure what it's parodying. All in all, I had a good laugh with this. It was a good break from the serious story I'm writing now.
| Spiral Architect chapter 6 . 8/6/2011
I had to review this chapter separately because it was hilarious. The sports banter was great.
| Spiral Architect chapter 5 . 8/6/2011
I can compare this to an episode of Family Guy (I don't know if you like that). I'm not really paying attention to the plot, but I keep reading because the secondary characters (and the main) strike that right balance of stupidity for me to enjoy them rather then sock them. So yes, I'm enjoying this.
| Spiral Architect chapter 2 . 8/6/2011
I can tell this isn't a story to be taken seriously, and just one to be enjoyed. Well, I'm enjoying it. No grammar errors that jumped out at me yet, so good job.
| Rose chapter 1 . 6/23/2011
This was unique and violent. It had a good word length for a guy must have a lot of spare time on his hands. It was a good description of the violent scenes. There isn't a complex plot or character detail to really comment on.
| Guest chapter 11 . 6/17/2011
that was fucking shit
| Rosemarysgraden001 chapter 1 . 5/15/2011
Ok reviewing ur story, i started with chapter one!
It was interesting, not my type of story, charlie might like it better lol. I thought that it was interesting, talked about typical hs issues, god jocks are idiots lol.
Roseblitz (reviews may be payed via the it girls)
| thefaultinourpatronus chapter 2 . 4/27/2011
I love how you've just added in whatever you wanted. You're doing a good, consistent job with the humor, and we all know how hard it is to make a good audience laugh! Nice work (:
| Frap chapter 4 . 4/8/2011
This story just goes and goes and goes and I like how you just put in what ever the hell. Kept me reading though. I'm thankful that you resolved the abused girl, course you could've done something else, but to each author his or her own.
I know you have to work on grammar, puncutaion, and what point of view you use at times, but the story is a quirky one and the association for geeks being now run by the main character is just too strange.
I have to go to the next story but I do plan to finish this up.
Thanks for sharing and also thank you for making it an interesting read.
| Frap chapter 3 . 4/8/2011
Your writing style is out of the blue. Okay there is a lot of info, but let me ask for more description. Your main character needs more presence and the fact the geek leader just called him out, you need more of a build. I mean you jumped right into the situation, but didnt' have him ask too many questions before he aske for help.
Now with that said, I do realize the main character is a do gooder and I have to look up the Swisher fellow, is he a real person. It just feels that he is since you reference football.
Now why did you change the tone of your story? It seems like you got serious out of the blue and the whole issue with Donna being abused was so freaking off. You may want to throw that out all together. You don't want to make light of abuse of any kind, and if it was something that made you write the piece than you need to polish it up.
I was hoping that she was bruised because the new father was a fan and the bruises came from Donna's strange victory dances and stuff. I was not looking for actual abuse.
Okay, on to the next because I hope he will do something and not just shrug and move on.
| Frap chapter 2 . 4/8/2011
I just cracked up while i read this...I mean, the plot is weird and this guy is just trippine with these geeks that want revenge...seriously?
I like how he's like WTF? when they bring out the slingshot. I was saying the same thing and when they actually got a human target I had to cover my mouth. That was just insane. Who does that? Now his battle with the Charger fan is on going as you have now revealed so I look forward to another crazy meeting of th two.
I know you wanted feedback on the last chapter but I have a hard time jumping that far. So sorry, but I liked this chapter. Yes, it is truly silly but you did catogorize it as humor...
Keep it funny and I'll have to read more.
| StoryMonster chapter 1 . 3/12/2011
Okay, so couple of punctuation errors here and there, but I mean, details!
We need a nit of description here.
Why is he infiltrating a High School?
Why is the Jock weak, and the geek stupid? That doesn't really fit!
Well, it has potential, so work on it!