Reviews for Farro
Kobra Kid chapter 3 . 2/1/2011
My favorite chapter so far! Once again, your descriptions are stunning! I could clearly see the Moth Room, the protagonist's attempted escape and the small fight scene. I'm really hating Bomani right now. He just seems like a pious, cruel, narrow-minded Prince that needs to get beaten up again. I was so glad when his nose bled, even though that's kinda wrong...but it doesn't matter. xD. Anyways, wonderful chapter! Since she's a Farro, supposedly, I wonder where this is going! And ooh, maybe her and Lateef are like, brothers or cousins or something! :D Keep up the great work!

Kobra Kid, Roadhouse

P.S. If you don't mind, can you payback these two reviews via Rise From The Ashes? Thanks!
Kobra Kid chapter 2 . 2/1/2011
I love your writing style. It's so clear and precise, and you know what words to choose for your descriptions. Reading this makes me feel bad about my writing, haha. Anyways, good job! I wonder what her name is...sorry if I missed it. School has been draining me. But, seriously, your descriptions are what defines your writing. I can imagine every movement perfectly, and the facial expressions on the characters as well. Great job! I'm wondering where this will go, and what'll happen to the main character...

Kobra Kid, Roadhouse
Whirlymerle chapter 2 . 2/1/2011
I think your descriptions are utterly beautiful. I could see (and wince at) the narrator’s festering arm. I could feel her weakness.

I think you write present tense very well. There isn’t the usual narrative awkwardness that comes from this style of writing.

Lateef is likable and I can sympathize with the narrator. They are “good” characters, but don’t have the annoying “perfection” that you see in most characters on fictionpress.


Liya Smith chapter 8 . 2/1/2011
Once I saw the chapter name I immediately thought of the "Usher" song. Just saying. Anywho, I'm really liking where this is going. I've always had a secret love for stories like these - where the hero/heroine has a completely awesome power and is able to train/manipulate it. My favorite character still has to be Bomani, because under that jerkoff exterior he's a pretty interesting guy!

Also, those pastries sound good.

You really shouldn't be insecure because over my time spent in Fictionpress I've stumbled over a lot (and I mean A LOT of stories) and very rarely have I routinely reviewed one like I am now. I am just really intrigued by your writing.
Hana Himura chapter 8 . 2/1/2011
Don't be insecure! You have real talent to tell stories!

Favorite characters? I like Bomani. But I'm not quite right in the head. I usually like cranky, strong, stubborn characters. I don't like heroes that are too perfect.

I liked really liked this chapter. I had thought that Khensa would throw that rock at Bomani's head. And what kept me wondering was what he said about healing. I wonder who he wants healed. Great job! Please keep posting! x
Hana Himura chapter 7 . 2/1/2011
Very good! I'm off to the next chapter now. x
v-n-ll-y chapter 1 . 2/1/2011
This seems pretty good so far. It's a really good start because not too much is revealed about the narrator or their history yet, which gives it a certain element of mystery. I also like the use of present tense for the narrative, because it's not often I see it done this well. I didn't see any errors as such, but I did notice that in some places a lot of consecutive sentences began with 'I'. Nothing wrong with it, but a little variation never hurts. Overall, this looks very interesting and I'd like to see how it progresses.

Liya Smith chapter 7 . 1/31/2011
This was so good. I'm glad you think about the needs of your readers! Didn't see any typos this time, lol!

Great job, once again.
Hana Himura chapter 6 . 1/30/2011
Very nice chapter! I'm really liking this story! Please keep updating! x
Liya Smith chapter 6 . 1/30/2011
I was actually very excited when I saw the length of the chapter. I have to say, I actually like Bomani's character very much. He's amusing. Khensa and Bomani are like five year olds with all their fighting. :)

The only typo I saw was: "Fine then, pick a song, I date you! I'll sing it – right here, right now!"

Date should be dare

Great chapter! Excited for more.
Whirlymerle chapter 1 . 1/29/2011
Hey there!

What a great way to start the story, I was drawn to the plot immediately by the intense (though not over the top) action.

I’m intrigued by the way you use colors in the story. The Purple Man, the narrator’s green turned brown robe, and the man in the white robes. I’m wondering if there’s any significance to this?

You’re writing is excellent!

~Merle, Roadhoue
this wild abyss chapter 5 . 1/29/2011
Lovely way to end a chapter. I love how the narrator remains independent throughout this and doesn't give in easily, a la Mary Sue. She's her own person, and though you've kept her motivations hidden, she remains realistic and believable.
this wild abyss chapter 4 . 1/29/2011
I enjoy how the fantasy elements of this piece aren't something that's been done thousands of times before. They are unique, and you present them in intriguing ways. The entire concept you've presented here is great, and the style in which you write about it is interesting. Great work.
thefaultinourpatronus chapter 1 . 1/29/2011
I literally flinch with every blow from either side of the characters. It was very morbid, in a good way. The protagonist seems like a really strong character. I also like how she's not a damsel in distress, waiting for someone to rescue her. She can take care of herself. Promising start!

x mandy
this wild abyss chapter 3 . 1/29/2011
Your action sequences are perfect. You write them without excessive words or phrases that might distract readers. On the whole, this story is turning out to be very interesting, and I'm glad to have found it.
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