|Reviews for Farro|
| snarkybat chapter 35 . 6/14/2011
Wow, this is amazing! I really, really like it. I'm normally extremely picky about what I read, and at first, I was a bit doubtful, but you got me convinced quickly.
I can't wait to have the mystery, that is Bomani, unraveled. Why couldn't Khensa see his Kah? And personally, I think he really loves her, but he's just too stubborn to admit it. I can't wait for Sulfur, and I'll be waiting anxiously to see if my theories is true.
Oh, I 'liked' you on facebook. And I'm thinking about buying Farro, too. I might just be willing to support a masterpiece like this. *winks*
| coco chapter 1 . 6/1/2011
This story was the bomb diggity!
| verge chapter 35 . 5/26/2011
Having just finished reading Farro, I can honestly say you are an amazing author. I eagerly await the release of Sulfur. I cannot wait to read about the new adventure. I have fallen in love with your characters! They are simply amazing.
Thank you for the amazing read.
| lookingwest chapter 18 . 5/25/2011
Ha! I love your first paragraph here, for some reason I can just feel this undertone of sarcasm and I love the image of her splint being fashioned from a paddle-there's a bit of dry humor here for Khensa's voice.
Great language in the first part, everything was quite smooth. You've now got me pretty torn with Bata, though I feel he was really hiding something, now I'm faltering a bit on my assumptions. He might only suspect-but then there's what he wants from the Kingdom, and though he claims not to I'm not sure I can completely let go of all my suspicion, haha. His sister, I feel, is innocent of any sort of real danger to Khensa, save for almost killing her last chapter-she just seems more interested in the petty formalities of court than a large-scale planned assault or anything. But anyway, I like what you did with Khensa and Bata here-I think it's good they're being distanced for the time being.
Lovely second part-you've carried over the brilliant description again, and I really enjoyed how you also took care to give us a big of description about the kraken, and also that its hunted the whale-that's too bad. But I liked pausing for a moment to set up the scene before we get into the hunting, and I could really feel the excitement mount as it did with Khensa, great job on creating atmosphere.
Wow, very intense third part-and I like how you've broken up the chapter like this too, each part seems a pause before it mounts up to the climax with Bomani really shredding into that thing! I loved the moment there with the lanterns and the moment when they draw it closer, and I like Shana's the one that captures it-you would expect Khensa to as the "do-all protagonist!" but having Shana first bait it was great. Enjoyed the descriptions of the actual hunt to-I like how Khensa relates it to Death the Eater towards the end, and then the chapter title-that went together nicely in theme, obviously. It really brings that notion of Death the Eater up again and I can really feel the chill of Khensa as she makes the comparison. This was an action-packed chapter that led to a wonderful ending-job well done!
| lookingwest chapter 17 . 5/25/2011
Liked the descriptions set up in the second paragraph of the landscape, again, you really have a wonderful balance of your setting verses plot and character.
HA! Love the moment when Bomani gets up and walks off while Nessa is playing-I actually expected her to be good at the harp, so I'm pleasantly surprised she isn't, but I can really see some rivalry begin to develop with her and Khensa. Still, it's a nice little relief to hear Khensa very confident about her harp abilities, which I feel were a bit squashed by Lateef's insistence that she didn't know how to play "properly" or something of that sort.
The song Khensa plays is lovely, I like how you describe the music itself-I find that to be a difficult task in creative writing because you're dealing with something that can potentially be difficult to pin down in description, but with the lyrics I'm guessing you've created on your own, and the way you give the flavor with the description of it being a "ditty" and then the "light airiness" of it, is just wonderful. I could really capture the flavor in a way that's rare for songs in writing-the whole scene was lovely.
Wow, you've had me from the song to the end! I couldn't *believe* what Nessa did to Khensa! I seriously had my mouth open when she fell-and I expected it to be an easy fall but my my, you did an excellent job turning that into something unexpected. I like how you gave it that creative edge with the rope, I really wasn't expecting it-it had me wincing though the entire thing! Loved the struggle you also added with her and the water, that really provided some extra hype for the plot and the characters, especially Bata. I'm curious to see if he'll continue to believe he saw what he saw or if he'll really just brush it off. I also found it a great opportunity to see Bomani continue to develop his relationship withe Khensa.
The entire scene where they re-set her bones and then used the beetles was great, again. I kept wondering if she would find any moment where her Kah might be needed, so this was a great way to employ its use and also show the reader the versatility of what she can use besides plants, so I liked how you expanded on it for us. The descriptions of the popped bone and all of that had me wincing again! This chapter really had its distressing moments!
Overall again, really enjoyed it and I continue to adore the creative-aspects of the entire plot and where you take everyone. Khensa's activities continue to surprise me and venture into the unexpected, and her tense moment with Bomani and her Glamor, and that entire discussion, was just what I needed! Looking through some of your past reviews, I'm not the only one suspicious of Bata either! After this chapter I find myself wondering if he's actually in on something or really not-he seemed to be playing dumb with Bomani, but I couldn't tell if that was just a ploy or his real reactions to Bomani's accusations. At any rate, I look forward to everyone's continued development!
| lookingwest chapter 16 . 5/25/2011
I'm so so so SO SO SO SORRY for accidentally submitting a review to you that wasn't for your story! I can't believe I did that! I've just gotten a brand new computer too (switched from PC to Mac) and I'm just not used to this-I need to learn how to deal with my open windows better and yeah I'm just, wow, so apologetic. :( I will attempt making it up to you by getting all those review I owe you repaid again...so sorry T_T...er, bright side! You now have a one up on your review count! heh...O_O''
Well I actually read this chapter after I read the last one and didn't get a chance to review it when I went on my binge last time. I thought it was incredible and your world is so easy to sink into-it's one of those stories that I hope to re-read all in a a few days time because it can really absorb the reader into the fantasy-world. :) I like how you opened it up with Lateef giving Khensa one of his warnings-it kind of illuminates how dangerous the situation might be, but then sticks true to Lateef's personality of always worrying about her. I'm also a little worried for him because of it's position change, but I'm enjoying that Khensa gets to go out and see more of the "court" life and what that's like. I'm hoping that we'll be able to really compare it with the life she came from and see Junktown as well-I liked the little sample you gave us with her and Bata, it really shows that you have all your bases covered as a setting and know what you're doing as far as planning how people live on a daily basis, so that detail of conversation wasn't wasted in the least.
I was really hoping to get to know Bomani more instead of Bata, so that was a bit of a disappointment from this chapter. Though I do like Bata, I also find myself very suspicious of him and I can't completely trust him, as he seems too good to be true somehow, haha. And even though Bomani hasn't done anything to warrant my love, I still prefer him and wish we had more time with him, how you tempt me so, haha! The conversation with Bata and his sister Nessa and their own background was also well thought out and I loved the element of the different language and the descriptions from the "outsiders". That really gave a different dimension to your world and opens up a lot of possibilities of foreign relation and trade, etc.
The bit where she tries to pronounce their language was fun too, it was a nice moment. Seeing Khensa really out and about having a bit of fun conversing is a good thing, I like to see her social. Bomani was as anti-social as ever, so even though I was saying I wanted more from him, as always, it does stick to his character so far to be quite a bit more cautious than everyone else, especially given his position in the court.
And ah, the kraken! How creative! Loved that bit-I like that you call it kraken and hint at just hunting the baby kraken, that was just super original to me and it also gives me a taste of what might lurk as far as foreign monsters or animals unfamiliar to our world in your own. You've really started to shape an entire fantasy setting that goes with the genre, and I can really see it coming to life here through the information you've provided us.
Content-wise, the dialogue was as enjoyable as ever. I really think it takes a certain art to create these "high-court" conversations-you do a great job, Bata and Bomani, even Nessa, stay as professional as ever, and I enjoy how you create Khensa's as well.
Overall another wonderful chapter, and again, I apologize so much for screwing up with that other review and getting my boxes mixed up. I hope to continue tonight, because seriously, once I get into your story I cannot stop with just one chapter!
v Mistake review below v XD
| lookingwest chapter 16 . 5/25/2011
about an hour before dinnertime
-Edit: needs a period at the end
Great beginning chapter! I like that you establish Bree in her setting at the diner and and give us some background into her routine, it's a good way to set up how her routine might deviate as the plot takes off and everything. Also, for a Supernatural story in the romance genre I liked that Bree was the one with an interesting and unique power, I was expecting that so it was refreshing-I figured she'd meet the guy with the power and be blown away, haha. So yeah, good job there, and I like how you've got it all out for us to know right away too, so that the plot can move on with more interesting plot-points, etc.
I thought you introduced the Supe world well as well, with the introduction of the Gregor, I'm guessing you came up with that on your own? I'd never heard of it before so I liked the creativeness there, demonstrates that there might be a lot of other weird and unique monsters in this world too. I was a little surprised that Bree had trouble taking her care of herself in this situation and was rescued by Tyler, even after admitting she'd been tangled with Gregors in the past-especially when she wasn't sure if it was completely dead. But I think that also illuminates that there's a difference between a half-demon and demon in that sense, so it was good to bring in Tyler there to foil her abilities and highlight his.
The introduction of Tyler was fun as well, if he's indeed the romantic interest, I think it's cool you went ahead and introduced him right in the first chapter to, you don't get that enough with Romance, they really can draw things out sometimes. The pace was fast but consistent, and the action was well described concerning his character. I'd like to know what isn't so typical about him as opposed to other demons, and I couldn't help but think of the show Charmed, I don't know if you've ever watched it, but I like where you're going with his character! Oh! and I also liked the description of Bree's powers when she was able to hover from the ground, that was fun, and I can see those skills of levitation coming in handy in the future, it makes me wonder what else she can do besides have super-strength as well.
I didn't find any bad sentences that needed immediate attention for grammar or spelling either, just that one that was missing the period, but no big deal! The writing was clear and I could understand everything so far, so I think you did an excellent job giving us an expectation of the flavor of the story and what might come in the future, and I also think you've given us something that can be expanded and there's a lot of possibility, so overall, thank you for the read!
| PJC Macall chapter 35 . 5/20/2011
Seriously loved it! im heading over to the amazon page now to write a review as well!
Cant wait to read the next story!
| PromptingShizzle chapter 33 . 5/16/2011
Ooh, good twist! I've really enjoyed reading this. :) It's been hard to stop at times! I love how the relationship between Bomani and Khensa is slowly developing (in a good way) so that you don't really realise at first that they're changing. :) I'm so happy for you that you've gotten this published and wish you luck for writing Sulphur - I know i'll definately be reading it!
| chocolate-cookie chapter 37 . 5/13/2011
i'm not normally one for bonus chapters - that is, alternate view points, etc. but this was one of my favourite chapters (the original made me go 'squee' and this made me do it again ;p) so I really enjoyed seeing Bomani's view of it. I think, if anything, he's a little too aware of his own feelings though. I always thought he was the emotionally dense type that takes forever to figure out what he really feels. There are times here when he's very self-aware. "Eater knows I want to. A terrifying realization. I want the liberty to look at her as Bata does. I want to talk to her with the same ease, the same poise. I want to take her by elbow as casually as he does, and tell to her all the things I have been unable to. Jarai, mother, Bata smiling down at me as I'm bound and gagged." I think for his character it makes more sense for him to be angry that she doesn't know the things he can't tell her, things which if she knew would change her mind about Bata, and blaming her for having a galmour that makes him want to look, and not having any hint of any deeper, non-glammed feelings just yet.
I dunno. He does just seem very conscious of his own feelings here, which surprised me.
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/13/2011
This is really amazing, the beginning about the smoke and relief of death is fabulous, I want to read more! I did notice one point were it should have had "the" but instead it only had "he" and also I think you may have possibly forgotton a was but now I can't remember where. Genious. Anyway, its really good, I'm glad you got it published, even if I don't know you :) Bonnie
| Telephonic chapter 1 . 5/12/2011
Just got this story on kindle. I really like it so far.
| Angelxoxo13 chapter 3 . 5/12/2011
O_o *confuse* what. Going. On. ?
| Angelxoxo13 chapter 2 . 5/12/2011
Akk! What's Exactly going on!
| Angelxoxo13 chapter 1 . 5/12/2011
Just found this story. I must say that it is very interesting story.