Reviews for UpsideDown
Dreamers-Requiem chapter 10 . 1/15
I really like the way the characters interact. It shows the different relationships nicely and they bounce off each other well. You have a great hold on them, and do an effective job of showing – rather than telling – what they’re thinking, feeling, etc. And I like how she knows exactly what her relationship with him is based on, and it’s a very real, human side to her character when she doesn’t really want to give him up, even for her family. Some very effective stuff here, great job, can’t wait to read more.
Dreamers-Requiem chapter 9 . 8/26/2013
I really like the dynamics between the characters. They blend together nicely and it feels really natural. The small things that come up help add to that too, especially with things like how useless Simon is around the house. (Bless) How could she forget the cat? Emotions come across well, without anything being too much telling. The only thing (and it’s really minor) that I noticed is you tend to use ; quite a lot. [I couldn't decide which was funnier; his insecurity, or his comparing Ally to a pet.] Instead of that, maybe a comma or something. With things like [and I caught a glimpse of Simon's frown; I grinned] you could have the ‘I grinned’ as a separate sentence on its own. Good luck.
Dreamers-Requiem chapter 8 . 5/19/2013
All the flags of Lucas being a jerk are there, but you manage it effectively enough to show that she would still want something with him. I do think there could be a better balance though, between the negatives and positives, to show more of why she ignores the negatives. Overall, a good chapter, and you built up the tension and the mystery of where Simon was really well. Italics…blah blah blah, but I know you’re cutting down on them. Overall, a good chapter, and I’m keen to see where it goes; I keep hoping she won’t get with Simon, maybe that guy from the speed dating thing, but preferably not Lucas. Good stuff, keep it up, and I’ll be back to read more when I can.
Dreamers-Requiem chapter 7 . 3/30/2013
Aww. Although I did think Simon's teasing was bordering on slightly dickish, but I think you show their relationship well enough that it's easy to imagine he can get away with it. It's kind of sweet. I really like the style, as always, and the voice of the main character is interesting and fun to read. I like how you don't spell out that she got fired until she tells Simon, and it keeps a sense of tension there. It builds up nicely. Dialogue is witty and strong, and really shows a lot about the characters, although the use of italics is still bugging me. Anyway, great stuff. Am really enjoying the story.
Dreamers-Requiem chapter 6 . 12/18/2012
I feel like Simon and Ally are trying very much to manipulte her, to guilt-trip her. Whether it's a good thing or bad I don't know, it just depends on how she reacts to it. And both things will really say a lot about the characters. I think you need to show a bit more of her sister, too; right now, she's so unlikeable it's hard to really understand why Simon was with her or why Ally went back to her. Or why the new guy is with her now. It's hard to get a real grasp on most of the characters. Just something to work on. I think you really need to cut down on the italics, too, even cut them out all together. They become very distracting, and I may have said it before but they can jerk the reader out of the story. One of my tutors once said it's best to let your reader decide where the emphasis goes, and I think the whole style could really improve if certain words weren't, well, jammed down a reader's throat, in a way.
Dreamers-Requiem chapter 5 . 10/2/2012
I'm starting to like some of the characters less and less. Mel is a bitch, and the way Drina handles her...it just seems to me like she lets her get away with way too much. Mel is horrible, oblivious to the pain she's causing around her, and Simon at times just comes across as weak. I think I may have said it before, but I really think you should use less italics, if use any at all. They really add nothing to the story and just become distracting, especially when there's a lot used in a short space of time. I am hoping someone stands up to Mel, soon. I think as well you could focus on the feelings of Drina more in some places - at times, it feels like it's simply jumping from one event to the other, without giving the reader a chance to really absorb what's going on. Hope that helps some!
Centimeter chapter 10 . 6/30/2012
I love this story so far. Your keep the story flowing without forcing the plot. It's a good pace and the characters seem very realistic. I can't tell who Drina will end up with (if anyone). Keep writing!
Viva-la-Mylo chapter 10 . 6/29/2012
Lucas is an ass who should just leave and die-.- poor Simon I feel really bad for him I really like Dom lol he's cute update soon love!
Reeech Beeetch chapter 9 . 6/26/2012
I really like a forbidden feel toma story, but I'm not a fan of going for your older sister's husband. It's one thing to give comfort, especially to a niece who's lost her way, but a not even ex-brother-in-law? I almost feel it's incestuous. But of course, that's just me. Jasper so far is the most interesting character in the 9 chapters you've made. So what's the plot? Where's the conflict? Just my 2 cents worth ;-) Cheers!
Eclipsesforeyes chapter 9 . 6/24/2012
I love that this story isn't predictable and I love the characters update soon please!
Viva-la-Mylo chapter 9 . 6/24/2012
Lo its so funny the thing with jasper! It's so funny! I love it! Update soon love I really missed this story !
Dreamers-Requiem chapter 4 . 6/24/2012
Blah italics blah blah. :) Now onto the important stuff...aww, poor Simon. I can't imagine how painful it would be for him to find out Drina slept with his, well, rival's brother. And I kidn of like how she doesn't think of him while meeting Lucas. It makes her more realistic, if a little a self-centred, but I think that works. I would have mentioned about her not defending her sister, but I like the reaction she has, and it is mentioned...again, self-centred but realistic. I like how taken she is with him, too, and I think, overall, that whole interaction between the two was done brilliantly. Great stuff.
Dreamers-Requiem chapter 3 . 5/15/2012
I've mentioned the italics before, so I won't dwell too long on them. I will say, however, they are distracting, so I would strongly suggest changing them to normal text. The story itself seems to be picking up pace here; I have to say, I really don't like Mel. She seems to just throw away her responsibilities, without any consideration for the others. I did think, near the end, the way they made up was a bit quick, considering what Drina's said. Maybe have a bit more of Mel's reaction to it, show her thinking about it before discarding it, and then have Drina tell her she just wants her to be happy? Just a suggestion. Again, I'm still not sure of the age of the characters, especially Ally. Although it's been stated she's 17, in some cases she seems just a tad younger. I think you need a bit more consistancy, too; Drina seems to change her mind about Darren every couple of seconds. I'd say either make the change a little longer or show a bit more conflict in her thoughts, feelings, actions etc.

Really enjoying the story, and hope those comments help!
TheIcyNorth chapter 8 . 4/30/2012
I don't really like Lucas. Is there an alternative? :P
Viva-la-Mylo chapter 8 . 4/30/2012
I am seriously hating lucas right Bout now -.- he's a jerky jerk jerk anyways besides that I loved it! If was really food love I really like Simon and I kinda want something to happen between him and her but ItS all up to u so glad u updated I was missing ur reviews! Update soon love!
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