Hehe, good first try then, really good. I like the story as well, even though it mostly wasn't about the story. :)

Love it. I never have guessed this was your first femslash.

It was really sexy! Keep writing. :)

I'm shocked that this is your first because it's so well written! It's smut, but it reads far more elegantly than I would have ever expected it to.

Sexy, well written, brilliant, colourful, sympathetic... there is so much that you did right and nothing I can really fault you on.

Seriously, it was believable and your details are just fantastic!

Please, keep writing.

3

That was most amazing!

very very nice for ur 1st time writing femslash... i never would have guessed to be honest. Have a little faith in yourself :D

Good!