Thanks for participating in the February Review Marathon!

I loved the concept of this piece. It took a while for me to catch on, but once I got it, I thought it was absolutely brilliant. It makes sense and gives things an interesting perspective. And you pulled the whole thing off very well.

In order to clear things up a bit, I might suggest that instead of the first slash in ‘CHANGE/money/love’ you put in a dash, because at first I was a bit unsure as to what you were making reference to.

But other than that, it was splendid.

I'm glad you added the bold words at the beginning because I saw the bottom first, read through, and was like, "oh, I get it!"

This is a unique idea (though you run the risk of confusing people, as I'm sure you've seen). It's kind of neat once you get it, though. Read it through and replace "money" with "love" and suddenly you get a friendly father figure talking to you instead of a corporate bigshot or something of that short. I like the contrast.

Personally, I like anything that's a turn from the ordinary and makes me think, especially when I end up understanding it. Nice trick here. :)

Good job and good luck in WCC!

Ahah, it was a fun take on the prompt (at least if I interpreted the end correctly). I liked the way you managed to write an entire piece which works with both meanings.

I'm not really fond of some of the figures you used, though. It felt rather clichéd, no matter which word you read it with.

Good luck in the WCC.

I like the concept of this piece. It makes a lot of good points about values and love. I particularly liked the lines "...though money that is hoarded benefits no one and is ultimately worthless even to to the person holding it" and "A person who unwittingly accepts fake money ends up losing everything he thought he gained..." because I'd never thought of it that way.

However, I do think there could be a little more flow between each statement. While each sentence makes a good point on its own and they come together pretty effectively in the end (the last paragraph summed it up nicely), I had a little trouble following the reasoning between sentences and the grouping within paragraphs. The ideas and wording didn't really lead in to each other as well as I might have liked. The piece develops logically, yes, but each sentence reads like an individual statement rather than 'this leads to this, which leads to that'.

Overall, though, nice job! Good luck in the WCC! :)

I couldn't really get interested in this piece. I thought it was an interesting change, showing the value of money as opposed to love, and I did like the last sentence. However, the piece as a whole felt a bit flat and void of personality. I think it would have benefited from either having a clearer narrator or from showing more personal examples.

Best of luck in the WCC!

RM

I couldn't become fully engrossed in this piece because of a few reasons. First, the repetition of "money" jumped out of me because I didn't think the repeated use of it created any sort of flow or rhythm. Secondly, this narrative felt more like you were provided me with facts instead of concepts conveyed creatively. I think your use of the prompt was original, so good job there, but overall I wasn't crazy about this one. Best of luck in this month's WCC.

From the Review Game's Review Marathon (link in my profile)

I actually didn't like the message of this piece, I know, I sound terrible, ahha. I just thought it was too cliche. We've all heard that money can't replace love and all of that jazz, I would have liked to have seen the same sort of idea applied to a chance way more unique than this. And money can buy happiness in a sense-or at least, it can buy a better quality of life. But anyway, would have liked to have seen an edgier message. I liked the way that you formatted the change at the end, specifically the way that you calculated all the changes made, because I think that was a good way to show the reader the change and it incorporated the theme in a unique way.

Best of luck in WCC!

Reminds me of a university course I took twenty years ago. (It even had the same name.

"Teach your children the value of money." - So true. It's where learning to live starts.