|Reviews for Desolate|
| catching.my.breath chapter 1 . 7/15/2012
Absolutely gorgeous. :)
| emodinosaurX3 chapter 1 . 8/6/2011
Wow ... You made me feel the gut-wrenching pain your narrator felt. Very nicely done.
And, I absolutely loved the very last line of this page, the one written in bold: "February: For some, it's the month of love. Friendship for others. As for me… it's the month of heartbreaks." I couldn't agree more.
| surfercharlie25 chapter 1 . 5/21/2011
Oooh, this is loverly :) Truly. I love the dialogue and this is simple, so nothing gets in the way of the emotion.
I love your writing style, too; very lovely in a simple way, much like John Steinbeck's :)
This is great!
| out-of-the-way chapter 1 . 5/19/2011
That was so sad yet so powerful and deep.
Good one! (:
Keep writing awesomely!
| GoneAway-MightNotBeReturning chapter 1 . 5/15/2011
In so little words, you pack a powerful emotional punch into the story.
This is utterly relatable to anyone who has ever gone through a painful breakup or even just heartbreak.
You go, girl. :D
| Luna Carn chapter 1 . 5/15/2011
You sure managed to pack a lot of meaning into 200 words. A heartbreaking portrayal of heartbreak.
| ShortcakeMattie chapter 1 . 5/5/2011
This was heart breaking. You capture the two speakers' emotions well, through his dialogue and her memories. I am curious as to how she changed and what caused her to. I like how you never mentioned the characters names, it gives the readers a chance to connect to them from their own personal experiences.
| YFIQ chapter 1 . 5/3/2011
Great job on capturing the emotion of a broken character. Kind of sad but that's pretty much how things went.
| aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa chapter 1 . 3/25/2011
Aww... This is so sad... :'(
I like your use of italics, and the way you segmented the story.
| Punslinger chapter 1 . 3/19/2011
A beautifully described scene of heartbreaking pain. Not an easy trick to pull off. Congratulations on doing it so well.
| backtodecember chapter 1 . 3/19/2011
That was nicely written - I like how the narrator and the 'him' don't have names or descriptions, leaves it open for the reader to imagine anyway he/she wants - whether they relate this to a breakup they had, putting themselves as the characters, or imagining people of their own accord... Nice job.
| xRayne wolfx chapter 1 . 3/6/2011
Love this, I agree with you about February.. It is a month of heartbreaks :( Your writing made my thoughts of the month drive into thinking about stuff. You did a beautiful job on this! - I can't wait to read more from you.
| Narq chapter 1 . 3/5/2011
This is to return a review for the february WCC
I like how at the end it almost felt more poetic than prose. I think that was good because the narrator was heartbroken and so the words would've broken down into just emotions, which is basically the poem.
Aw... not the month of heartbreak! You know that your'e special!
| Lady of romance world88 chapter 1 . 2/21/2011
Hi. It is so beautiful story I ever read it. I love it. :) OMG He dump her. Why? Is it because she changed and he won't accept that? *curiously* How could he do that to her? What jerk he is. Poor thing. :( Everyone change during their relationships. I just don't get it why he just walk away from her and explain to her why. *shook my head in sad* This story is so sad and I can feel how painful she felt for him. :( I am wonder how does she met him? *curiously* I am wonder how old are they? *curiously* Does he met another woman and wants to be with the second woman? *curiously* I am wonder if he ever used her for reasons? *curiously* Does they have names? *curiously* It does happen sometime lead bad breakups in reality world. Its sad how two people love each other then one day he wants break up. Maybe he's afraid of what is going happen in future. There always reasons for breakups. I am hope that she'll meet another man who will make her happy again. :) Its amazing story and I am enjoy read this story. I love it. :) Ah you decide to write a heartbroken story and its so perfect that it fill with emotions. *thumb up* By the way, you are empathy person with strong emotions, girl. :) Keep writing and don't stop writing, girl. *hugs* I am look forward to hear your opinions on my poems and my story when you have time, girl. :) I am hope to see that you will continue write more stories in the future, girl. :) Don't worry, I'll be stick around for your stories always because I definitely will support you through your stories and I really love it how you write out from your heart. :) Its so amazing plot of stories from your ideas. I really love this story so much because it remind me of my bad breakup with my ex boyfriend few years ago. I suggest that you should keep writing whenever you have time because your ideas are fantastic, girl. :) I am hope to hear from you to review my story when you have time. :D I am off to read the next story of your now. :) i am hope that you will write some more of one shots stories in the future because its so amazing story I ever read it. :)
| this wild abyss chapter 1 . 2/21/2011
Congratulations on placing third in the February Review Marathon!
I wasn’t a particular fan of the italics that were interspersed throughout the piece. I found them to be distracting, and rather than adding to the scene I felt that they hindered the flow and interrupted things.
The narrator’s tone throughout this was especially grating. You portrayed this girl a tad melodramatic and needy, and that made this painful to read. I felt that this character was wallowing, and though it may be realistic, that sort of character is irritating.