Reviews for A Broken Soul
WinMyHeart5444 chapter 2 . 2/4/2011
Okay this is a good first chapter too! Right now the biggest things I saw that needed working on was the dialouge. Every thing was "He said, squirming." or "She said, pointing." I would go back and reread, maybe taking out some action, or some of the "Hes" and "Shes." The last thing was commas with the dialouge. Go back and reread, putting in commas at pauses. But I loved it. You've improved so much from your last story :) And the name was wonderful! :D (wonder where you got that from.) I can't wait to read more!
WinMyHeart5444 chapter 1 . 2/4/2011
It's a good prolouge! I would break it down into two paragraphs. Starting with "I just want to be heard." The 7th sentence needs to be rewritten, it doesn't make sense. And the last couple sentences are strong statements. I might make each one a seperate paragraph so that it is even more strong you know? But it is a great intro!