Reviews for Us Against The World
howcliche chapter 1 . 2/15/2011
Wow! It's stories like these that you need to have an open mind. And these stories are the type I love to read. I'm thoroughly intrigued by just this prologue. Can't wait for your next update!
lookingwest chapter 1 . 2/13/2011
I found myself unable to place Cyrus's age, which I think you could work towards solidifying a little bit more. I got that he was a teacher, but at first I thought you were describing an old man, which was a little strange to me, yeah, but then I think it changed a little bit half way through when you were describing other men of his age getting drunk and everything, and I wasn't sure if that meant he was actually younger, like fresh out of college graduate or something. I liked how you encompassed the title of the piece into this beginning prologue because I think it was done cleverly and because it gave the story a sense of independence and boldness. I think this beginning is a little heavy, but at the same time I kind of think that it was creative to start with such characterization as I don't see that often and I liked that.
Swimming With Mermaids chapter 1 . 2/13/2011
First off, I love the concept of student/teacher relationships. Always have, always will.

This, in my opinion, needs to be continued as soon as possible. The way that this has been written is amazing, and the prologue drew me in once I read the first sentence. I can already tell that you have a gift for writing.

I look forward to getting emails about this story's updates. Keep up the great work!

- K
Red-Dream chapter 1 . 2/13/2011
That was a very fine piece, and I imagine would make for a very good summary or even introduction into a much more complex story.

I really liked the way you described Cyrus, not because you gave him many physical properties, but you gave him a personality and left the rest up to the reader.

I also like the way you used the girl who is romantically interested in him as the narrator, also skipping on physical and personal descriptions so she can be described as "unbiased" as she speaks. I think you really conveyed the feeling you were trying to get across here!
Whirlymerle chapter 1 . 2/13/2011
I saw this, and I was like homigosh, I have to review this. :)

[The pleasure was never known whom it was festered upon though.] “to whom” perhaps?

[Romantically involved, we were. Sexually we were not.] Comma after “sexually” to parallel the previous sentence.

I like the way you told this story, starting at the end and then going back all the way to the beginning. Even though I know already that this is going to end tragically, I’m still really intrigued—all the more so, actually. Cyrus seems like such a sweet guy.

Great start, and keep updating!

Curlysquirt95 chapter 1 . 2/13/2011
This is a great introduction to your story. :) I like how you described the teacher's personality and the situation they got into. Can't wait to read more. :)
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