|Reviews for Anatomy of a Rebellion|
| Deserthawk chapter 14 . 8/3/2012
Wow, I'm surprised Percy lost his cool like that. Don't think that's a good way to get the men to respect him... What a crazy day. That murder's just opening up a whole can of worms. It's funny I didn't see that sort of thing coming before.
Heh, I see what's going on with him and Mackenzie. This quote shows it off real well: 'There was no room in their relationship for the thoughts that threatened to enter his mind.' But that shows that the thoughts have already entered, am I right? I think they're better together than her and that senator. I like how just when it looks like it couldn't get any worse, the helicopters show up.
Also President Kenning's law scares me. Especially how easily I could imagine that sort of thing actually happening. Good ol' Freddie, keeping it real.
| Deserthawk chapter 13 . 8/3/2012
Man, Percy is kind of a jerk. Maybe I would understand him more if I knew more about what happened with their unit in the past. Especially this Private Grey... (short story maybe?) That scene in the square was amusing though.
I liked that conversation between Freddie and Warren as well. Good to see that guy has some emotions. Makes me more interested in him, and also want to know more about his past. 'I regret not a single action in my life, save that I was foolish enough to fall in love', that's a good quote. You're getting me really curious about all these people.
I wonder what happened to Huck. Haven't seen him for a while...
And the conspiracy theory seems about to heighten... This 'Ceto' sounds pretty menacing.
| Deserthawk chapter 12 . 8/3/2012
Poor Percy. Not sure if they're gonna promote him after all his antics, lol. Again, I like all the little details here. Like exactly what building a military base entails. Also I wonder why Percy's so keen on having that state-of-the-art hospital... more foreshadowing? It's kind of suspicious that he's acting more cheerful, as well. Or maybe I'm just a paranoid _.
It seems that Royal's cool with how things are moving forward? I would've thought he'd be pissed that he's not gonna see any action. Maybe he's smarter than I thought... I feel like that special unit got sent there to watch Percy for some reason.
| Deserthawk chapter 11 . 8/3/2012
"The womanizer?" "Yes! I mean, no. I'm a war correspondent." Lol. I like Jordan's personality, how he just doesn't give a _. For a moment I thought he was gonna kidnap Royal there... I have a feeling he's in cahoots with the terrorists.
So it seems this military base things is gonna really happen. The townspeople must be in pretty dire straits, IMO. It's so sketch to put one in the middle of Nebraska. Make people wonder what they're trying to hide there...
Percy is kind of a jerk, manipulating people like that. I want to know what's up with him, why he doesn't go visit his family (since apparently they're great people). Also he seems kind of oblivious to certain things. I bet the military is using him in more ways than he realizes...
| Deserthawk chapter 10 . 8/2/2012
That's kind of scary, how the government just decides to put military bases up in the middle of the country. I know I wouldn't want one of those in my town... And I bet Royal is not going to like get assigned to that dead-end duty.
I'm seriously thinking Mackenzie's got something for Percy. She's just so dedicated to him. And what is up with Freddie? I'm surprised they haven't turned him into the authorities yet, since he's a wanted terrorist and all.
Wait - Scott's assassination was seriously an execution? Damn, that's just cold. I am really not liking the government here. They are starting to remind me of a certain regime...
I liked that scene with Wallace and his girlfriend (?) at the beginning. He seems to me to be still very innocent in some ways.
Sometimes I sort of miss the transitions between different scenes and then get a bit confused... But that's probably just me, lol. It's cool how you do them, reminds me of how they do it in movies.
| Deserthawk chapter 9 . 8/2/2012
Damn. I totally did not see that coming. I mean, I thought that general was bit of a jerk but he didn't deserve that. Kind of surprised the townspeople didn't freak out more. Also wondering, when Percy and Wallace went into the chaplain's house, why didn't his family freak out at all the crap on Percy's face? Guess they couldn't tell what it was?
I'm really starting to get curious who the bad guys are. Especially why they offed the general, but not Percy - since he seems to be the one getting closer to 'the truth'. It's almost seems like they're trying help Perce or something? The plot thickens.
Hm, just noticed Huck isn't in this chapter? Maybe he was the sniper/whatever it was that got the general.
| Deserthawk chapter 8 . 8/2/2012
I wonder if Mackenzie has a little crush on Percy... she seems so eager to do things for him. Either that, or she's really dedicated to her job.
I do think Percy's jumping the gun a bit. Those people seemed pretty sketch, so I wouldn't trust them. It seems the only evidence otherwise he has is from that reporter, which also doesn't seem that great.
That scene at the beginning with the pigs was good. It made me sad, but I think it represented a lot about how Alan was. Perhaps his place in the family as well. It's funny, I'd assumed he was also a soldier and that was how he died.
Also, I predict Royal is gonna die. And it's going to be Percy's fault. I'm a terrible person...
| Deserthawk chapter 7 . 8/2/2012
Oh, lol you wrote this with a broken arm? Good job, I didn't notice any errors :)
The plot is getting real interesting. And those are the weirdest secret agents I've ever seen. Creepy as well. I wonder why they're telling Percy and Co. who they are?
Anyway, I think it's good how you can segue into different people/setting without using those horizontal lines. I admire you for it.
I like that little description of the church steeple in the beginning: 'It seemed as though it was pointing towards the heavens, like it was challenging Percy to reach up and steal a star.' Foreshadowing?
| Deserthawk chapter 6 . 8/2/2012
Oh man. Foreshadowing.
I wonder what they're gonna do with the sniper and everything if they get sent home... but I do hope they get back home. That fight was rough. The description of the battle at CC was good. It kept reeling me in, making me want to read more.
That was interesting, learning a bit about Percy's past. If all he says is true (but somehow I don't think he's being a 100% truthful), then I feel like he's got some mental issues. I mean, there's a point where arrogance becomes stupid. I also kind of want to know more about his units past, all the battles they were in and how they got their reputation. That sounds pretty epic.
| Deserthawk chapter 4 . 8/2/2012
Lol, Flying Circus. Is that a reference? Those guys seem legit. I approve of their antics.
Hm, I wonder if Jordan is really being honest with the sniper, or if he's just saying those things to draw her out. I hope the pilots don't get ahold of her, considering how eager they were to see Mackenzie...
Also I sense Percy is about to get real badass soon.
I guess sometimes I feel you could leave out the 'he commented' or 'he requested' during the dialogue, if you wanted, to make it flow more. Could be just the way I read as well...
| Deserthawk chapter 3 . 8/1/2012
Hey. This is good. It's so polished, like I could imagine picking this up in the bookstore. And it's gripping.
I enjoy how realistic the plot is. You make it sound pretty plausible, how all this could happen. Which scares me. And makes me sad as well.
Also, the details are great. It seems that you have experience in the military? Especially your descriptions of the locations. How you don't pour out all the details at once, but put a little here and there.
The only thing I noticed was in these introductory chapters, there's quite a lot of background history and similar. It's not tedious, it's quite interesting, but I guess if you wanted you could have it leak out a bit a time, to keep the reader guessing/pull them in. Just my two cents :) Good job!
| FlawlessPink chapter 1 . 7/3/2012
YOUR STORY... I LOVE IT.
Check Out My Stories? c:
| Dachande663-ff chapter 29 . 4/30/2012
Just read all 29 chapters on my phone and loved it. Great world you've created, on the edge of what could be. Can't wait for more, feels like it's just getting started.
| LightfootLee chapter 1 . 5/26/2011
I've only managed to read the first chapter so far but I definately like what I see. Considering the current trends in U.S. politics the world youve created is very believable. Can't wait to read the rest.
| Nobody chapter 1 . 2/16/2011
Very good. All that rewriting paid of. Keep up the excellent work and upadte soon!