|Reviews for Flash Fiction|
| xenolith chapter 2 . 10/14/2011
Hmm, this was very dark. There's a lot of raw emotion described in this piece and it's very specific to a mother's love, which is something we don't often encounter on Fiction Press. Even though it was very sad and twisted it was good to read about it. I can't imagine how awful it would be to give up the one thing that keeps you going, knowing before hand what it would probably do to you. But it felt like there was a good progression throughout the story - from hope, to anguish, all-out-despair and then the madness at the end. I really liked the last line, about how it was the life she had made for herself. That's quite poignant - often people don't realize that the shit they get themselves into is entirely their own fault. Either that, or they live in denial. I liked that the narrator was fully aware of herself at the end, even as she descends into craziness.
I did have a few line by line critiques to offer, but nothing major so far as grammar or anything. I would have liked a bit more description about the girl, not just her appearance and the memories that came with it (which were great, btw) but maybe something a little more specific to the story. Something like backstory. Even though it's flash fiction, and vague is good, a little extra can make it seem a lot more real to the reader.
Otherwise, I thought this was very good. Looking forward to reading more work from you!
| lookingwest chapter 7 . 10/10/2011
Very creepy. I don't know what it is...I think the title-it just makes me literally think she's wearing this guys skin and that's creepy for sure. But that might be an extreme. I like that you have those options of how to read this-literally or figurative. It can also function as a metaphor, I think.
Great October piece. I really also liked how you started with the idea of the dance and ended on that too. It makes the piece feel full circle. As a Flash Fiction, I think this functions wonderfully, it's just right, and demonstrates a small scene with all the right descriptions and attention to the five senses.
I absolutely loved the line "the trees stretch to the sky scrapping the ceiling of the world", because it was such a strong image but was also quite poetic. That's kind of why I love flash fiction so much, you can dip into both worlds and take them both effectively. Enjoyed this!
| Dr. Self Destruct chapter 7 . 10/10/2011
Oooooh man, it wasn't until I was a few lines into this that I understood you meant she was LITERALLY wearing him, ahaha. Once I pieced that together, I shuddered and made grossed out noises. Very nice, I always love to be disgusted - especially through writing, because that doesn't happen very often.
I love the idea of them dancing together, her wearing his skin. I can just picture this demented woman prancing around by herself and hugging herself, snuggling into this coat made of human skin and... okay, I'm going to stop now. I think this might give me nightmares. Not of someone wearing me, but me wearing someone else.
I like how her motivation behind making him a coat was because he wanted to leave her, haha. Such a crazy woman... and I bet somewhere out there someone has done this before. Hmm... the urge to Google this is rising, and it makes me scared to leave the house...
This was damn creepy - perfect for Halloween. I could see this being the plot to an awesome movie.
I love how you took the prompt so literally. It's too bad you didn't submit this in time - you'd've definitely had my vote!
I found one typo:
[He tasted like honey and sweet. ]
Edit: I think you might've meant 'sweat' instead of 'sweet', but I could be wrong.
| Sophia Alexandra chapter 5 . 7/5/2011
wow. that was so sad and emotional. really good story and very well written
| Sophia Alexandra chapter 4 . 7/5/2011
| Sophia Alexandra chapter 3 . 7/5/2011
aw that was so sad!
| Sophia Alexandra chapter 2 . 7/5/2011
wow i like this. very dark
| thewhimsicalbard chapter 4 . 3/30/2011
Much like your thoughts on my piece, I like yours because it was so short. Unfortunately I caught myself glancing at the last line before I finished, which sort of wrecked the ending for me. However, looking at it as an author, you've done good work.
The only thing I would comment on is your sentence construction. At times, I feel like it becomes a little bit too repetitive, though I think you could easily fix this by eliminating some of your pronouns and putting the actual word(s) in there.
Good stuff, and thanks for your review!