|Reviews for Ai Kia Si|
| XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX chapter 1 . 2/19/2011
this poem has a sad...drone (?) to it, a flat voice telling me something, but it still sinks in...first impression was that the poem was speaking to someone wanting to suicide...
what's the language? ai kia si?
"please look carefully
at the neon signs"
i love the mention of neon signs,don't know why. there's a slight issue with the grammar.
that is everywhere," "is" should be "are". or "signs" could be "sign"
"brightly lit words,
and follow it till" "it" should be "them". or you could change "words" into "word"
and i think you mean "limbs" instead of "limps".
sorry about all the correcting, just that they distract from the poem. favorite line:
You're never too young
to die, so don't expect
your soul to be able
to take this risk,