|Reviews for Be Mine|
| oolongnoodles chapter 1 . 7/19/2011
Wow. :) That was good and long and I am swept away. Great job! :D
| 2nd chapter 1 . 4/11/2011
Hey Allie! So sorry I'm late in reviewing, but FP was stuffed the last couple of days... x(
Anyways, I thought this was yeah, a bit cliche, but I like your style of writing. xD
There were, though, a few mistakes:
~'Well, she's kinda wrong.' In the first paragraph, should be 'Well, she was kinda wrong.' Tenses. Watch the tenses. ;)
~This isn't a mistake, but [at the start] when they're talking about the guy, I thought it would sound... better if you used 'could' instead of 'may'... Just a thought...
~'Maybe some reading will clear my mind' should be; 'Maybe some reading would clear my mind.' Tenses. Watch the tenses. ;)
~'It was full of mounds of books and made my eyes go all dreamy and googly when I see them.' Baha, this is exactly how I feel when I see them. XD Anyway, should be 'saw' instead of 'see'.
~'Am I blushing?' should be 'Was I blushing?' :)
~Right at the end, 'mines' should be 'mine'. x)
That's all I found! x)
Anyway, I enjoyed reading this! It was short, sweet, funny, and it made me go 'aww' at the end. Haha. I'm suck a sucker for romance. xD
| Someone You Need Not Know chapter 1 . 3/5/2011
So, 'sup Alexis? I took the time to read your one-shot. :D
Anyway, it was good. One thing... TWICE you said 'mines' instead of 'mine' which is kinda annoying, as the second one was at the closing sentence. I mean, that's supposed to be the most cliched-but-awesome-line.
| Anonimous chapter 1 . 2/22/2011
Perfect! Extremely Awsome. The perfect Short story of the nerd and the hot guy get together.
| MUSH chapter 1 . 2/20/2011
Me iz Mush. :D HI. Now to give constructive criticism. Please don't hold anything against me. Honestly, I only give constructive criticism when I really care.
Well, first of all, I really have to agree that it's cliche. And as much as they ended up together in the end and stuff, I still don't like Blake because he's so arrogant. Which is more or less actually what you wanted to make him. So good.
To be honest...I was bored. It's not that I hate romance, it's just that I've read this happen in stories so many times. Which brings us back to the point of it being cliche. But I know how some times you really just want to write a certain story, regardless of whether it's super cliche or not. For example, I still really want to write a Nico/OC story. And that's like one of the biggest cliches in the PJO fandom.
There were grammatical errors here and there. Perhaps you want to watch out for your present and past tense usage :D Some sentences could have also flowed a bit more smoothly.
Anyway, you still have potential to become a good writer as long as you don't give up because you don't just tell the reader what's happening, you show it and describe it. And you describe it well. Besides that present/past tense thing, you also have quite a good grasp on the English Language.
| U MadeMyLifeComplete chapter 1 . 2/20/2011
I love it!
| xxaznqt chapter 1 . 2/19/2011
This was absolutely amazing and so so so cute! Words cannot even describe how much I liked this story! It actually gave me an idea to do the Ferris wheel thing with a guy like, haha. (x
| Aria Senora chapter 1 . 2/19/2011
That was really good. (
I know it was a one shot, but please countinue it? Pretty please?
| iheartstarsx chapter 1 . 2/19/2011
This may be cliche, but it's still cute!~
| LeyLey chapter 1 . 2/19/2011
I absolutely adored it. The way you worded everything was exquisite, and the idea was phenomenal. Truly a well-written story.
There were a few minor grammatic mistakes here and there, but nothing to worry about.
Anyway, I really liked it. (