Reviews for Gavin: For the Love of Life: May 2030
ShatteredUniverse chapter 1 . 2/28/2011
[EASYFIX - FOR REVIEW GAME]

I liked your prose and writing style overall. It flowed and was easier to follow than most that I read on the Internet. Kudos there...

What I didn't like was an apparent utter lack of conflict. Even in a "feel good" story, one has to have some sort of conflict. That's just how stories are. Otherwise, your readers are just going to go "so what?" Unless this was just a part of your first chapter, it didn't live up to its potential as an opening chapter. Conflict doesn't have to be between people, mind you, it can be between a person and their environment or circumstances out of their control. It can even be a person against an idea or abstract concept. This is something you need to think about and incorporate.

Respectfully yours,

John M. Carr