Reviews for The Journey Known as Defeat
TheGirlBehindTheGlasses chapter 1 . 3/29/2011
I was wondering where you were going with that... It's so true, though. Even as a vegetarian I love McDonalds. Mostly because I love the look on the employee's face when I order a meatless Big Mac. Ah, good times.
lymli chapter 1 . 3/8/2011
it's not so bad if you ask for salad instead mcburguer :)
CCKins chapter 1 . 3/1/2011
Haha! LoL! I love Macy-Ds, and there was just a time when I kept on going there! Very funny poem though, and a big well done for the rhyming!
PoetryQueen chapter 1 . 2/22/2011
This is very well written! I love the topic! I do that all the time! I loved your rhyme scheme and this flowed perfectly! Awesome job!
SomeRandomScribbles chapter 1 . 2/22/2011
I love the way you build up the story, letting the reader guess what is happening and finally revealing the truth at the end. Your use of dramtic language really helps to build up the tension.

However, I thought a lot of the rhyming was a bit clumsy and forced, and stopped piece from flowing well - especially the final rhyme, where you've used pretty much the same word twice.

Overall, though, a really good poem! :)