Reviews for Book 1: Attachments Chapter 2: The Hunt
disrhythmic chapter 6 . 7/28/2011
I'm baaaack. Again, this is a review of the story as a whole, so here we go...

First, the prologue was a nice touch, really tense and foreboding. :) Definitely hooked me (as if I weren't hooked already...)

I also really like the interaction and trust issues between Naomi and Joseph. It's fascinating and adds a lot of depth to their characters, because in the end, they really just want to protect each other.

Let's see here, what else did I scribble down... Oh! The scheming. I very much enjoy the scheming and deceit and total web of lies going on. It makes everything so much more interesting.

At the risk of sounding sadistic, I love the fact that your main characters get hurt now and again. :P I've seen -so- many FP stories in which the good guys get through entire battles without a scratch, which is mind-numbingly unrealistic. So, yes. Naomi getting shot is, in a twisted sense, a very good thing.

No major critiques for this installment. :) Again, I found a few dozen very minor grammatical mistakes here and there, but for the most part they're not confusing or jarring, so it's all good. (You'll have to forgive my nitpicking on that count - I'm a total Grammar Nazi.) There were three that really stuck out, though, so I thought I'd bring those to your attention.

1. In Chapter 2, Able says "Are you alight?" Pretty sure you meant 'alright'. :)

2. In Chapter 3, David mentions that he talked to Lisa 20 years ago, but he said 15 in the first part of the story. (If this was intentional, my bad, but it stuck out.)

3. In Chapter 6, Joseph says "Don't put him through that again." I think you meant 'me' instead of 'him'. :)

Can't wait to read the next! :D

-dizzy