I just want to say thank you for writing this. The quality is just so amazing. The first time I read this was in 2014 and as a 14 year old, I was amazed by your writing. I've been trying to find this for a year now because I forgot the title, but now I have it and I will come back to read again.

What a fantastic read. Truly underrated story that the world really needs!

I had a sneaking suspicion that the second ending would be happier so I read it first, it will forever be the real conclusion in my mind. Though this is perhaps a better more bittersweet and poetic ending for the story.

Thank you very much for posting this here, it was exactly what I was looking for and while it robbed me of the night (I started in the evening and it is morning now, woops) it was worth it!

I love this story so far, a unique way of making the story teller ever present and active in the plot. I wish a friend would write something like this for me as well :)

Thank you so much for this wonderful story; I loved every word of it. I am especially thankful for the two endings that let me have both the tragic separation and the bitter sweet togetherness.

So I very rarely review stories, but this one is such a gem and the number of reviews don't do it justice.
There are many great things about this story. Firstly, it's amazingly written and I feel like I really am in the world you've created and that Jyoti and her nameless-friend are real people - whom I will actually miss now. Secondly, the whole thing is just so clever! I love how it switches from the friend's point of view in the 21st century to Jodi in the 18th where you forget the whole thing is being watched on a painting. I also love the attention to detail - every little thing is thought out - and I could read this again and again and again. Thank you for this, it really is amazing!

I read your riveting story many months ago, and today felt that I needed to find it again. I had forgotten the name of the story, and of your pen name. I'm so glad that the time spent going through page after page of stories in the Historical category proved to be fruitful!

At the time of reading (and finishing) this story, I felt that you executed the idea/ plot well , and not only that , but also uniquely, enjoyably, and with quality. You had me riveted throughout, and amongst my feelings, I thought that this piece warrants a re-read (yes, in 2016 - and after this review) - and furthermore, deserves a review from me (something I'm ashamed to say, I don't do very often).

Keep up the writing! There is always room for improvement (as other reviewers have noted) and I would enjoy reading more of your work :) Also, it's also remiss of me (and somewhat lazy), but I will favourite this story next time I log in to my much neglected FP account. Your story is deserving of more favourites, but for now, you remain open on my tabs and the link is saved!

Thank you for sharing this story with us !

-The Keeping Place

so i just loved this! there are some errors, some POV changes that are hard to follow. but over all, a great story, and a truely unique idea, making a first person POV that is just the story teller, not the main story. brilliant!

This was definitely the better ending - but I felt like I missed something that I'm sure you wrote as obvious... that being how Jyoti can come out of the painting at that one area in the forest. Was it the combo of special place Matthew's blood? Lol I feel so dumb for not grasping this. Very sugary sweet and "contented" ending. Everyone got their way, and it sort of made the ending feel just too nice and too unreal. I bet I'm in the minority on that opinion, hah! Overall, very enjoyable story to read and much thanks that you were willing to share it. Was a pleasure! Now ... you should re-edit the whole thing and include more bloody Tarleton scenes...!

What? Only one chapter left? Been very enjoyable to read this story. When the story is completely posted, I hope you will consider editing it and re-working some aspects, if you feel so inclined.

What a roller coaster chapter! Crazy. It makes one sweat in one's bed while reading... and boy did I, with such gasps and giggles, then anger, then annoyance. I am somewhat disappointed, though, because this chapter felt like a super-speed increase, quite uneven, in story pace. It was bewildering, jumpy, and somewhat jarring, like two people were yanking a rope back and forth (but if this was your intention, pardon my comments then). To consider, for some chapters, Jyoti kept wondering if she should tell Tarleton, kept fighting with herself, and then not long after she alluded she'd never be able to tell him, BAM! she avalanches the truth on him. I felt like ... I kept thinking that you had been progressing with a build up, and that the build up hadn't completely climaxed; instead, you had, perhaps, prematurely sped ahead. The pace of the story might have been more digestible for the reader if Jyoti had been able to reveal her past (future?) to him over a 2 or 3 chapter period, or at least until Tarleton was in a more serene frame of mind. So, the chapter felt like a huge explosion. I'm thinking, how is she going to sum up this potentially falling action now? - I hope you don't get upset with my reviews! Hope you will post the rest of the story in a timely succession. Thanks for sharing it online!

Interesting spin on a usually-considered disturbing historical person, Tarleton. I knew right away that you, the author, had (have) a keen interest in the man, and that Jyoti is at least a partial reflection of you and ... your fantasies, if I can be so bold (yes I can-!).

When reading this story, I had to twist my mind into turning Tarleton into some other completely person, a fictional person, because it was a little too much for my weak mental state to deal with a story about him. Yes, he had a 'human side' and whatnot. But what he did, how he did it, and allegedly encouraging his men to act and do likewise... the research I've done too about him... but not intending to sound like a contradiction, that perversion of being enraptured by a bloody, ruthless man like him in the story, humanizing him, was the major, primary allure. Your attempt at creating such a fiction about him is bold in of itself. I admire that.

Your choice of Jyoti's ethnicity and cultural background is also interesting and different. It's refreshing. But didn't Europe in the latter 18th century already have established trade with India? Wouldn't it be less suspicious than it seemed for a female of her skin tone and attributes to be in the colonies? Would it really be the first off-hand assumption that she was a mulatto of some form? Or maybe I'm off my rocker. That was my initial question when Jyoti lied about the origins of her skin tone.

For the plot itself, it feels slightly predictable. I was caught off guard in some parts, but I could see, several chapters prior, that there was going to be some form of historical alteration ending in a present-day descendent. I wonder if you are going to twist that plot, eh? Hope so-!

Also, I know Jyoti is a spunky, crude, strong-willed woman. It's great, but I felt that your attempt to make the story understandable by applying modern language (few 18th centuryisms and vocabulary intertwined) lowered the believability of the story. Since the premise is so unbelievable to begin with (jumping into a painting and ending up in the time), I guess I thought that other compensations in believability were expected. Using mostly modern-structured English for people of the late 18th century detracts from the story's credibility too. Yes, I know nearly all contemporary authors do so in published works. Doesn't change my hard-headed, probably irrational opinion about it though. The modern English styling works great with Jyoti, but it felt a bit ridiculous for the others, especially for Tarleton.

I personally wish you had not injected references to The Patriot, or mentioned The Patriot at the outset, since I kept thinking, 'is this directly inspired from The Patriot too?' and it was harder for me to immerse myself in your wonderful story because of it. It was a good movie, inspiring I do agree, but it felt to have detracted from your creativity of the narrative - you mentioned, too, that this story was a fan fic originally, or so you thought.

Well, I better stop! Sorry for being so long winded-! I sincerely do not wish to offend, if any of my remarks may have done so. This period of history is something I, too, research obsessively. ) I'm super happy to have found your story, and read it on my Kindle in 3 days. There are grammar and odd structural scenarios, but we all have to re-read and edit our stories for that stuff! Not worth as much to mention any of it.

Please continue! Please finish. It's hard to find quality Revolutionary War-themed narratives.

Great story. You haven't updated in a while though :( Plz update soon! :)

Hi,

I really like the story and have it on my favorites.

Are you planning on continuing it?

Hi there. I'm finally returning that review you posted on my story, Kid. XD

First of all I absolutely love that first line. It was funny, really caught me, and set up the narration style. Your writing is lovely – I can visualise the scene, and the characterisation of Joyti so far is fantastic.

I have a lot of questions after the first couple paragraphs and that definitely makes me want to read more. Where exactly are they, and why is Joyti (nice name!) in a soldier's outfit?

The dialogue was good and realistic, but it confused me a little. Mainly in regards to the gender of the narrator. The boobs bit made me think she was male, but then you corrected that afterwards. I'm getting the feeling that they're queer (no offense meant) because of the gender confusion? I don't know?

Ah, a little further down you've cleared it all up. A war reenactment.

I really love the idea of Joyti going crazy over war artefacts, and the narrator's sarcastic asides are hilarious. I'm already connecting to your characters.

“I wasn't sure if the two labels were connected or if it was a coincidence that he was both cruel and British” - That made me laugh.

Oh no – cryptic messages! "To know the past is to know the truth. To wish knowledge is to be open to receiving it." I'm thinking this is where the supernatual aspect comes in with the creepy old witch woman. That vial is so creepy. It's also a very original idea. I wasn't expecting that.

“Maybe someone will accidently stab someone." - I really love your humour. It's brilliant, and not over-the-top try-too-hard funny.

I have more of a sense of Joyti and the narrator's (did I miss her name?) relationship now. Very close friends :) What with the little temple kiss, and the wrestling and such. Am I right? Or am I reading into it too much?

“Jyoti was sucked into the painting.” - Woah! I was not expecting that either. You've completely surprised me in the first chapter – what a great opening!

The historical aspect is going to be interesting. And the plot seems like it's going to be brilliant.

In terms of crit, I would say the introduction is a little confusing, but maybe that's what you want. I thought the pacing was good – it was heavier on the description side, but I don't mind that. You used that description well, and I was immediately sucked into the world and can picture the characters. You've really made the characters real and rounded. It's just in the context of internet reading and fictionpress that a slower pace and detailed description can mar the ease of reading slightly. If I read it in a book it would be fine. And I really enjoyed reading this.

- Alias