Reviews for God and Devil Renewed
Karolina chapter 1 . 7/5/2011
Kay so the first line "God was dying" is perfect, and I like the whole stanza but the word "whack" used in the second line seems wrong. "Black" is very dark and serious; the "world went out of whack" is lighter and almost comical-wrong mood. They don't match together as well as they perhaps could.

The second stanza is lovely.

The fourth stanza bothers me some, it doesn't seem to fit in with the rest. There are three lines and yet they do not match the pace of the ones beforehand; is unequal somehow, especially to read.

The eight stanza doesn't ryhm... at all... Not that you necessarily need ryhming but when every other stanza has it, it's the odd one out and sticks out because fo this.

i think things get a little hazy towards the end, who is "they" that you are reffering to? Perhaps it is intentional, but you mgith want to look into it.

-And I love the last line.

There you go, full critical disection, hope it was helpful, good writign! :)
Karolina chapter 1 . 7/5/2011
:):):) See? Wow I'm actually impressed Dean, that is good :) Awesome job.
lymli chapter 1 . 3/8/2011
I like this, especially the part 6 bout death childs.