|Reviews for Whys|
| Iva Hartnet chapter 1 . 3/22/2011
Lovely emotion. You're obviously drawing from personal experiences. That's a powerful place to start for any writer :)
Great great job!
Just one thing. Concentrate on your tenses. You've probably read my previous review on prayers for japan, where I mentioned the same thing.
For example here: I'd stutter, unable to say anything, and just left, if I talked to you.
The sentence structure is awkward. You were doing fine till unable to say anything and then you used 'left'. You were speaking in present tense and randomly switched to past! Try to avoid that as the entire sentence then becomes grammatically incorrect...
But I loved your work!
| SargentLooneyPencil chapter 1 . 3/22/2011
wow.. emotional and true... it's awesome..
| SophieInPink chapter 1 . 3/20/2011
This is awesome! I love how it's written in second person and how relatable you made it, leaving out names so that anyone could identify with the situations. Awesome work.
| TheCatGoesMoo chapter 1 . 3/20/2011
wow...i love this story..I can really relate to this story...I like this guy who plays the guitar beautifully...and I really feel the same way...
| dragonflydreamer chapter 1 . 3/19/2011
I love that you didn't make this into an actual poem. It has a rambling, train-of-thought feel that I think is effective in getting right to the emotions.
Going along with that, I love the flow. Your words really fit together and keep the thoughts smooth. There were a few words, though, such as "successfully," "albeit," and "supersedes" that I didn't quite like. They're harsh-sounding and made snags in the flow as I was reading.
Great sentiment, though. I think a lot of readers can relate.
Sparkles from the Review Marathon (link in profile)
| chewychester chapter 1 . 3/6/2011
I know a special person just like you described. :)
| Heather Kaylie chapter 1 . 3/3/2011
Aw / that is so cute! I love it! Good job .