That was very interesting and wholly entertaining.

hey! so I finally can stop a moment and write a review. I just hope I remember all the things I wanted to tell you. So will over anything else was surprising, I liked a lot. Not just as a plot idea but the idea itself. Call me crazy but writing about will over laser, vampires, mutants and such things is refreshing.

The final fight with a crazy Nate and running Harry(I almost chocked when I imagined the suitcase with the long thin legs!) blasting everyone, it was great and surreal. I think this was the most surpring story I've readed for a while, I mean I kind of less guessed where you were going but I had NO IDEA how you would get there.

But you know what I liked the best? She WANTING more or less what she already got. I loved that she didn't bathe in a shinning light and went to heal the World of all the wrongs or that she became a Council witch or something.

Nate being a knight was perfect, how she misunderstood him about the pilgrims was unexpect humor for me.

It was a very entertaing story, with great characters and I'm happy I had the chance to read it.

Before I forget, the cartoon I told you about the name is Generator X(I don't know why they change the name in Brazil..) and character is Six. I just imagined Nate a bit taller and with more muscle.

Congrats for the great story

Graviola

Unfortunately, I'm not patient enough to think of the most eloquent way to put this, so I'm going to be frank. Please put back your story so we can finish reading it. That way it's a win win! You can decide what you want to do with it, while we get to read it.

As for the story, it's lovely (which is why I'm actually writing a review! Something I've never done before...) The analogies are great, but sometimes a bit unnecessary. Everything doesn't need a comparison. However, it is helpful sometimes in explaining the witch history stuff. But about 50% of the time I glossed over the analogy type paragraphs.

There's more, but that is all I feel like writing.

cheers

AH! You took the story down when I was 11 chapters in! :( Super sad face. There are some typos I've noticed but overall a good story with a seemingly good plot line :P Hope it's up again soon :D

I love this story, with it's vivid and realistically based characters. There's even a moral. Thank you, so much, for sharing this story with us.

I'm sad it is finished. It was a wonderful and interesting story. I would have liked that the coven apologized to Ebony though. She deserved it!

Thanks :)

Yay! What a funny,good,nice etc. end! Cookie points times 10 to you!

Oh, Ebony is great as a kick-ass action hero!

OMG! That was such a sweet end. So exciting too. Absolutely loved this story. Thankyou so much for such a great read.

You love your dramatic endings and sweet epilogues don't you. I kind of wish we could see how everyone reacted when they realised that they'd been part of a story that had already been rewritten, especially the Coven. They like to talk about being the Watchers and jumping in and taking action and it turns out that they were being steered along just like everyone else.

I'm glad that Nathan and Harry get along now, or at least agree on something.

I don't know if you did it on purpose, but I do like this bit here:

['You got a commendation the last time I got you in trouble remember? The mayor gave you the keys to the city for saving Vale from Amarreto and his fake little Grimshores, and putting them all behind bars. Even though,' she poked him hard in the chest, 'I did most of the saving.']

Because at the beginning of the story that would've torn her up something fierce, even if she didn't deserve acknowledgement or Nathan wasn't actively doing something to outshine her, it would've made her blood boil.

Now she can mention it and not mind because she's happy with who she is and I think, that in this case, being rewritten was the best for her. She's actually truly happily and not just fabulous to everyone who sees her, lol.

[Two stunted little trotters suddenly popped out of the bottom of the travelling case, enabling Harry to run full tilt towards the goons, roaring as he went.]

That makes me think of The Luggage from Discworld, LOL, except the luggage doesn't speak and is just terrifying on a whole other level, lol.

I have to say, at first I was a bit iffy with how this battle was going to go down. They were both talking and he expected her to kill herself to make his rite work while she had no intention of doing so, so I didn't know how this would all work out or if she was going to do another stealthy little spell and everything was going to get wrapped up quickly.

And then he found her Journal and it just became ridiculous! I love the fact that her wants being read out loud were things that might possibly kill her. She was getting everything she had ever wanted, or thought she wanted, and it was sucking away her life.

I don't quite understand how her putting what she wanted in the mirror however ended up saving her life. I mean, by using the mirror and the pen, doesn't that doom her to death anyway? Why would the watchers show up if she had pretty much just wished for a good life?

I do like the way the story went back to the beginning and everything fit. And I could imagine the whole scene with him reading out the parts in my mind as if it was in a movie.

Okay, I know I skipped chapters 21 and 22 but I'll go back, LOL at Harry. I love them. And does this have to do with the guy who originally attempted to rewrite history and was 'caught'? I'm going to assume he wasn't actually caught since the creepy bad guy [who has remained nameless throughout] said that the story was already put into motion years ago and the henchmen are dressed like they're from the fifties.

also, LMAO at these dragons and tommy guns and all that. hahaha, it should feel super strange, and it does give a bit of a surreal aspect but it still works.

One thing I found interesting was the fact that her attack wasn't really showy. I shouldn't have been surprised since she has changed but I was really expecting her to get some blasting in, LOL, or do something overly complicated just because she got her magic back.

He was like the lower level boss and she took him out in a mater of minutes.

And WOW Harry, LOL, I mean, wow, admittedly now probably wasn't the best time to be doing the flirting thing but sometimes the talking shop/travel bag needs to just stay quiet and let everything go as it will, LOL.

Couldn't log in, sorry, but still wanted to tell you how much I loved the story. From beginning to end, even though I wanted to cry when everyone was turning against Ebony. You put such depth and thought it your little universes, and its wonderful to see. Fully imagined, no silly plot holes. I love reading your stories and I hope you write them for a long time.

Brenna (imagining Ebony and Nate skipping off happily into the sunset )

Aw. I really liked this story. And the '20s mobster bad guys were a blast (figuratively) to read about in the last few chapters. I enjoyed how you explained how Ebony beats Amarreto with her imagination. The only thing I would have liked to see in the Epilogue is a bit more closure with Ebony's mother and the rest of the coven. I felt like that should have been addressed a bit at the ending. Otherwise, very excellent, lovely, enjoyable story! I'm still very much in love with Harry and I want my own haunted bookstore! Thanks again for such a great read!

Fantastic story. Original plot, and an inspirational one too, dare I say it. Thanks for sharing.