Reviews for I can't keep coming
dragonflydreamer chapter 1 . 3/18/2011
I'll be perfectly honest: I have absolutely no idea what this is about. But that's good, I think. If you're trying to make a huge statement with your meaning, it obviously isn't, but I was able to just sit back and enjoy the wordcraft and structure of this.

Rhythm. Brilliant. Really, I wish I could manipulate words with this much precision.

[get. the. fuck.

over the moon and

call me .baby.] I love the way these words piece together. Also, curiously, I like the punctuation of "me .baby." You created a type of pause I didn't know was possible in poetry.

[too loud. or

I will be

too loud.] This is the only "meh" part of this. The second "too loud" held no meaning after the first. If you're going to keep the same words, there's definitely something you could do with the formatting to give the second some impact.

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