Reviews for Fireclaw
Futurewriter16 chapter 12 . 7/11/2011
Did u forget me? But I finally got to ch.12! Well, my fav character is Ali, but that is kinda obvious... I loved how it turned out... I think u should have a seen where they r planning the down fall off the evil girl that sits in front of them maybe make her name start with a K... Hehe... Give me a call! And talk soon!
Feuer Vogel14 chapter 12 . 6/23/2011
hehe..the force...

sorry.

WAAAH! it's over! i might cry!

...

actually, i'm having trouble not smiling.

this story...is awesome. you just...

AHMGOD! i'm so proud of you! (sniff)

okay, so, what i like about this chapter: really excited that they're going to school! i love stories like those! the sequel's gonna be awesome! actually, i'm writing a story for fun that's sorta like what you're doing (school thing). pretty awesome.

ANNND Maranda...really...how does she get all this stuff? have her teach me please... i'm in need of her skills.

and Ceriz! OMG! him shopping...that's gotta be the BEST EVER :D loved that part

ok. now, my favorite parts of the story:

of course, my fav character is Ceriz! he rocks! though, at some parts, i loathed him. like him being mean to Sonya, my second fav.

my fav part...that's really complicated. well, the most i liked about the story in general were the little jokes you put in, like Sonya saying, "Nice weather" in this chapter. Hilarious! that's what makes a good story, even if they are only little details like that.

as for the music box song- dang, that's creepy. creepy cool! which means i love it! :D though i don't have an account on youtube, so i can't comment directly on there.

good luck on the sequel! you'll do great!
Feuer Vogel14 chapter 11 . 6/18/2011
WWOOOOOOWWW! epic.

it's, like, all actiony, and there's creepy people, and...just wow. really love this chapter :D

I was a little disappointed in Ceriz, though...I mean, how could he not want to be Link? I would be Link, even though I'm a girl and tall. Link is awesome. never turn down Link.

and, heheh, he was so funny when he was all wet :) flailing in the water, then being all grumpy cause his clothes were wet... sigh. I love Ceriz.

...but not like Sonya! and Ceriz cried! OMG! he probably thought she didn't like him...or something...whatever. he's Ceriz.

I don't like his dad, though. I mean, who would want to kill their own child? he would be put in jail for life. or a really long time. do they have jail in the magic world?

good thing she didn't die, too (phew) cuz, you know, that would end the story pretty quickly, leaving us hanging... with no sequel either... a big 'darn' moment...

and that cut WOULD leave a pretty sweet scar...I'm jealous. I've always wanted a scar like that- I'm not suicidal or anything, but I'm just saying it would look really cool and it would be something to show off to everybody...you know? I wouldn't, like, intentionally cut myself just for that reason. that would be weird. and creepy.

SSooo, awesome chapter! :D looking forward to the (sniff) last chapter... and the sequel!
Feuer Vogel14 chapter 10 . 6/14/2011
WOW! you used my comment! I feel so famous, you quoting me (tear)

and you even updated your story in a few hours...I mean, I want authors to update as soon as possible, but this...nothing can beat this :D

soo...their parents, huh? really interesting...and hoping they aren't related, because of Ceriz's dad, but it seems like they aren't...anyway. looking foreward to what happens about that :)

Pavel going a hundred miles an hour! way to go, being as young as he is! holding out that long...how far would they go? whatever. I'm not that good with distance stuff. and I'm just gonna say I really wish I could see a dragon going fast (not in a book, but like in a movie or real life or whatever). It seems so exciting!

hehe...Maranda questioning the nature of humans and gender of Sonya...you can only expect that from her...and, of course, her bonded dude. Interested in him though..bring him up later? please? could be good.

oh, yeah- totally agree with you on the Legend of Zelda. Though those games are awesome.

! you're ending it? seriously? but it's too good to end...glad you're doing a sequel too. at least the story won't end, even though the 'book' is. if you get what I mean.

PM me when you put up Korra?
Feuer Vogel14 chapter 9 . 6/14/2011
...okay. first, before I freak out, getting up this early two nights in a row is extremely rare for me. just saying. don't ever expect it to happen often.

so-

OMYGOD OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!

just-its-i-...yeah.

mixed feelings.

but that Asirion guy- I like how he was all secretive...funny...

and CERIZ

um...yeah...of course, you know, you kind of expect him to do something like that, but...I'm still...freaking out...

OMGomg

don't you dare end a chapter like that again. love the story, excited about the bonding stuff, and mr. hero is cool, but...

ITS A CLIFF HANGER

and i have to wait...

but at least I've been behind, and catching up in all my stuff this week, SOOOO i won't have to wait as long! yay! (I hope)

and one other thing: I'm kind of annoyed at Maranda right now. I mean, Sonya is there getting KILLED and she's off in LaLa land with her dragon, doing the cancan or whatever. I'm gonna go over there and beat her up if she doesn't have a good excuse. not that i'm a very violent person. (i'm not- at all) tell Ceriz to go do it for me or whatever. it would save gas.

EEEK! excited! yay! update!

picture: WOOOOOOOOWWWWW jealous. really. I am. last year, I tried to make this one picture with that chalky stuff, and...epic failmessy fingers. yours is awesome.

could you draw/color for me? pleeeeassse?

sigh.

Pavel looks so CUUUUTE! especially like the horns, how they sort of shine, and the underbelly. REALLY cool drawing! and nice coloring :D
Elemental Huntress chapter 9 . 6/9/2011
Hmm...I feel like you could put in a little more detail in the fight scene there. It still feels like you're almost rushing to get to the end, but it'd be nice if you could paint a picture with the words :)

It's still really awesome! Keep up the good work! :D
Elemental Huntress chapter 8 . 5/27/2011
I LOVE this story! You're a really good writer! Your style, diction, mood throughout the entire story is really well done. Personally, I felt it went pretty fast in the beginning, but the pacing of the story matches really well with the content!

Keep writing! I'm looking forward to more!
Feuer Vogel14 chapter 8 . 5/11/2011
sorrysorrysorrysorrysorry!

no free time! at all! (sigh)

BUT im good now! for...just an hour today.

anyway.

really awesome chapter! im liking this story more and more...its real cool...

few things that i liked:

hmhm- Maranda and her sneaks (poptarts)

Sonya telling Pavel 'not out loud' when he's talking to her. that cracked me up! i mean, i get what the difference is, but, its just...yaknow... hilarious...

Pavel saying "i'm certain they can come up with some sort of nasty potion" i dont know..i liked that too :D

AWESOME with Ceriz! OMG. its just..he's there..and they spar..and then he..(yeah)

EPIC

man..i feel like im getting all fangirl... its been happening to me a lot lately...

and with the picture: awesome with the color this time :D like how Jix is all serious, and Maranda..her face is so Maranda. love it! positioning is so cool!

no fair...you can draw people way better than me... i prefer to stay with a straight line, maybe some limbs and facial expressions. but thats it.

great chapter! :D
madeline -your twinny chapter 7 . 4/23/2011
ok i just read up to chapter 7...omg this story is so amazing i can tell its going to be a big hit if you decide to get it published...( you should ) ...um...lots of spelling errors you need to read the whole thing over and fix all those...if you send it in to get published with all those errors, they will reject to...make sure you get that done...anyway your story is AMAZING! i love it...if you need any more advise you have my email...love ya twinny

love madeline...(the filling to your twinkie!)
Fakety Mcfakename chapter 1 . 4/22/2011
Righto. little bit of runnons early on, nothing serious. the special feature in this story(their alway is one, you know) is that your dialogue is unnusual on par. it feels really real, as in, it reflects how people actually talk. very good. some things were unexplained though. you never tell us why everyone thinks they're a witch and wizard. you say sonya is a highschooler, but he's in the same class as a ninth grader. also, when they meet this really strangely dressed dude intent on kidnapping them,and with the ability to freeze time, they act annoyed. you have to keep in mind how people generally react, if you want to keep the annoyance, you have to have a reason like " instead of feeling suprised, liek his brain screamed he should, he simply felt irritation at being interupted by this upstart, this feeling of calm coming from some strange place he hadn't often felt before," even if it's a sucky reason like mine. like how the action starts quickly, drags us in. in fish terms, i'd call your hook a three prong! ha! fish humor. anyways, great fiction press debut.
Feuer Vogel14 chapter 7 . 4/22/2011
whoa! dude! how could you do that to me! (referring to beginning of chapter) guys are really stupid sometimes, doing what they think "is the best". sigh. i dont really belive what all he said was true. bring Ceriz back soon :( miss him already

though...was there any more reasoning behind it?...

ah hmm: Sonya...i dont really think it was the wisest idea to go and get the instruments alone...(well, at least she had Pavel with her) and then there she goes...getting attacked and injured...

haha- that Laertes\Nobody joke was funny/ i knew it from other various mythology related books that ive been reading, and it always cracks me up :D

but...wondering who the elf was- how did he know she would be there? and why was trying to hurt/kill her?

yes! bad guys are now in the story!

love em!

ok, now, i do it all the time too, but...

you shouldnt not do your school stuff and do something actually entertaining instead...

na, never mind. its easier to do homework after you have fun ;)

great chapter, hope you got the paper done in time, and try to update soon :D
BonQuiQui chapter 1 . 4/18/2011
I have yet to read the whole thing, but one conflicting point in the story that I have noticed (Not major at all) is when you say that the person you were threatening was a seventh grader, but then in the description of your friend, you go on to say it was an eighth grader.
Feuer Vogel14 chapter 6 . 4/18/2011
ahem: so, first, this is the first day in a week that ive been able to go on the computer, so actually im kinda glad that yours got a virus (sounds bad, i know), because you didnt have to wait as long for my review

story: no! Ceriz! i mean, COME ON! hes missing, then in danger, and then injured! how could you do that to me! im dying here! (:D) ...update soon please...

i feel really bad for Ali and Sonya, cos they had to leave and go to boring class... hate to be them...

haha- Pavel is jealous! hes so cute :)

pics: again, theyre really cool! so awesome! especially like Garlude's wings, and the sword...it fits her. i dont really know how to describe it, but it does. really good job!

other: going to check out the new stories right now :D
TotallyA chapter 6 . 4/16/2011
Yay! Another chapter! I wish it wasn't so short though...
TotallyA chapter 5 . 4/6/2011
I really like the idea of a world where people control element and have dragons as pets. I mean come on who wouldn't want to mess with the weather patterns an have a pet dragon? Its pretty well written but there were a couple of times where the wrong word was used in an earlier chapter (you put here instead of hear) but the story so far seemed filler-ish. Additionally didn't the weaponry guy say that there were few water people? If he did then why are both if them, their roomie and the people who built the houses all water? I really do like your story though, keep writing!
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