Reviews for we need a revolution
110Million chapter 2 . 7/15/2011
If yu're like me, a long time. hopefully you're not like me at all :)
simpleplan13 chapter 4 . 3/19/2011
The connection here to last chapter is less, but it still works well sticking with the whole school theme.

I like the scene created here. It's really sweet. And I love the ending so cute. The title works great there as a metaphor for melting. Nice job!

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simpleplan13 chapter 3 . 3/19/2011
Again I love the beginning because it connects it to the previous piece. Something I notice is lost in a lot of pillowbooks.

Your metaphor here with the guppy and swimming and barracudas is really well done. You describe it well and keep in the metaphor the whole time without it seeming like too much.

The ending is great. Describing the feeling with the word suffocating is really great.
simpleplan13 chapter 2 . 3/19/2011
I like the title 'cause it sort of sums up the whole feeling of the piece.

The first part is great. It ties into the last chapter well and it is an interesting theory that also says a lot about you.

The ending is great. "drifting until i find shore" is a beautiful image.
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 3/19/2011
Not a fan of the formatting here with the punctuation and lack of capitalization. I get wanting to keep I as i, but why not capitalize And? And also the second part needed more punctuation for my tastes.

I did like it though. I thought your description of you was interesting and made me want to learn more. I also liked the ending... kinda like a warning to the readers before they start.

PS Check out the Review Game and/or its Review Marathon (links in my profile)