Reviews for The Process
lookingwest chapter 1 . 5/6/2011
...the feeling of sobriety set in...

-edit: should be "sets"

Your failing biology...

-edit: "your" should be "you're"

This piece I feel like was a bit of non-fiction too, which I liked a lot. There isn't a whole lot here for me but the idea of therapeutic writing and how that can get people through, it feels more personal than anything, but I do like that you put it in second person, that made things more unique as far as doing a non-fiction piece. Besides some grammar mistakes that could have easily been fixed with another read-through, I liked that you kept things to the point and I think you overall accomplished a goal of saying what you wanted to say, plus I think there's a lot here that's reltable with everyone-I for one also have a really hard time pulling all nighters and only have ever done it once in my life. It worked for a very short piece, though for anything more than it is, I don't think it was going anywhere.
Annabel H. Wilde chapter 1 . 3/26/2011
I like the vagueness of the story at first. It adds to it rather than taking away. I like that I can relate well to the character in the normalcy of the sitiuation, which I find is sometimes difficult to pull off when writing in the second person.
Whirlymerle chapter 1 . 3/26/2011
Hello!

[unsure to say the least.] I think there should be a comma after unsure, otherwise, I’m unsure if this is grammatically correct, or what it means.

I like that it’s written in 2nd person, I thought it made the story refreshing.

[all of which can weather the night without a scratch.] I like this a lot! It’s great descriptive language, but if you think about it, enduring the night doesn’t seem like it’s a big deal, so this makes the act all the more intense.

[because you know you're going to try anyway, the feeling of sobriety set in] semicolon

I’m assuming you’re writing about the college process here? (Okay, this is going to be really embarrassing if I guessed wrong) If so, then I really, really love the subtlety of this. At first, it seemed like you have a lot of random info floating around in your story, but then it all clicked by the middle of the second paragraph, which I think was cleverly done.

It’s definitely something I can relate to, so I immensely enjoyed this piece.

Nice work,

~Merle
sophiesix chapter 1 . 3/19/2011
I liked this heaps better on teh second reading, because then i had a better idea of who 'you' was, and so could sink into their subjectivity a lot better: it made sense that mixture of fear and boredom at the begining when you know what pre-empted it. i think it was a good length, because it was succinct whilst containing a whole story within it too, and it never dragged. Good stuff!
Jayster007 chapter 1 . 3/11/2011
Well, this certainly was unusual, but I liked it a lot. You write as if you're using a stream-of-consciousness technique, expressing each and every one of your thoughts and feelings to the reader almost like a rant. And best of all, it strikes home effectively through your extensive use of the second person. A lot of readers can relate to the situation in your piece, myself included. That's what makes it so powerful. You use intense language, drilling your message into the reader with little clemency.

The only thing I felt that you could have done better was perhaps expand on your ideas and perhaps make the piece a bit longer. It was good while it lasted, but I think you could have added quite a bit more description to add even more flavor to this already exceptional piece.

Nice job.

-Jay
Peevxwm Vaj chapter 1 . 3/10/2011
Lol! After your last review, I thought you must be ESL, but you actually do have a real command of the language. Interesting. In any case, you get a perfect score for resonating with reality. After all, here I am, and what time is it? Damn. I couldn't help but laugh, both at the humor and at myself.

The second person works perfect here, and largely because of the reason stated above. You address the target audience with a subject that they can all relate to, and it really puts the reader in the story.

Plus, I love that it's short. Now I am going to bed. :)