Reviews for Tokyo Lights
HiddenFromYou chapter 1 . 3/19/2011
Hey there, thanks for entering the competition. :)

Even though I get why you didn't (the subject you're writing about being very touchy and all) I would have liked some action. The character being fine put me on edge, so I spent the rest of the story expecting something bad to happen to her, and actually was disappointed when it didn't, because all the build up of energy the story had seemed a little wasted.

For example, her getting out of earthquake unharmed built the tension because this is something that happened in the real world, so anyone reading it won't need everything explained to them because they already know the seriousness of the situation. And when you mention the power plant, and my opinion here would be that it's the perfect time for her to be affected by the power plant in some way. Probably not HER as she's not close enough, but a relative up there. That would give the story a nice punch-in-the-gut feeling to end on.