|Reviews for Portraits, Shirtless|
| Gilee7 chapter 1 . 6/10/2011
I think anger is the best emotion with which to write. At least, it is for me. Happiness is completely useless. Sadness can be good for my creativity, but if I'm truly depressed then I'm not going to be able to muster enough energy to write. Anger, on the other hand, is perfect. Whether I'm pissed off at someone in particular or the world in general, it provides a great fire for me to keep slamming away at the keyboard. Some of my best writing was written as a "fuck you."
Which brings me to this excellent angry poem. Your words are biting; they cut to the bone. I love how the anger builds with each stanza, just like it would in real life if this woman was going off on the dude. I especially love the last few lines: "break yourself / into a thousand pixels / see if I care."
The guy in the poem reminds me of all those pricks who style their hair with gel and go out to the clubs all the time, drinking and partying and pretending like they're the shit. The same kind of guys who pop their collars and take pictures of themselves with pouty lips like all the insipid girls on Facebook. I despise those people.
One minor grammar note: [You take off your shirt, pose / place your image on film] You need a comma after "pose."
| recycle rhymes chapter 1 . 5/22/2011
I really love the line you used in your summary break yourself into a thousand pixels. I really like this style of writing because it reminds me of your older pieces - there's just something about the structure that is distinguished i can't place it exactly
| The Wandering Musician chapter 1 . 3/27/2011
Wow, wonderful poem! I love the second stanza, especially the line "coexist with existence": I never thought about photos that way. I also love how you describe the moment just before the photo was taken. Great job!
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 3/18/2011
"You take off your shirt, pose/place your image on film, as though"... I think you should have a comma after pose because it's a separate thing than the placing the image.
"coexist with existence; faun on"... coexisting with existence is a really interesting concept and I like the sort of pun. The only thing is I don't get what faun is. I tried google, but none of the definitions made sense. Did you mean fawn? And if you did then usually it's fawn over not fawn on.
I liked the ending with the pixels. It tied it back into the beginning about the film and image.
-Review Marathon this weekend (links in my profile)-