Reviews for Captivated
Guest chapter 19 . 5/6/2018
Oh dang!
OdderThings chapter 1 . 4/4/2016
Love it, super interested already.

On an editing note, in the second to last line, it should be "Maybe you'll be less adverse to speaking later" - I HATE editing my own work and usually let my reviewers do it for me, so hopefully you don't mind the mention.
Mel chapter 2 . 2/21/2016
I love the story line! Keep going...
LoveDenied chapter 19 . 1/10/2016
I'm disgusted with Leonis for trading her off like that. Do the Renegades even have a plan for afterwards if they manage to kill the Queen? Who do they think will take the throne?
Guest chapter 18 . 1/5/2016
More . How going to leave it like that after all this time . I missed their sexual tensions
Dark Cyborg chapter 18 . 1/5/2016


Sadly this was one of those times, so Cypress was walking around the manor lethargically, a grim look plastered to("on" instead of "to") her face.

Cypress blinked and paused, listening for a moment, when no voices sounded she hurried over and peaked("peaked" in this context, is wrong. It should be "peeked.") around the doorway, eyeing the man who was leaned over a desk, shuffling through some papers.

Did this really have to happen again? What was it about this horrid man that got her some(what even is "some" doing here?) uncomfortably excited?

Wulfe nodded curtly, "Didn't you know?"
(The comma indicates continuity of the statement, so it's supposed to be: Wulfe nodded curtly, "didn't you know?" You've made this kind of mistake several times, throughout the story.)

There's other pretty nit-picky things on, but I suppose those are for a beta-reader to fix...

Otherwise, I was hooked by the storyline, strung by the plot, tangled in the escalation of pace. You're skilled, with a great imagination. You just need to improve your expression of that imagination.

The things I love about this story would be:

The protagonist, I've always been up for redheads, with snarky, badass attitudes. Her name is beautiful too, Cypress. Lovely!

The lover, Wulfe. Just like his name, he is predatory. And he knows how to get his fiesty belle all riled up. You've done a great job with his character, persona, and physical description.

The setting, medieval and Ye-Olde-Places feel of this story is very appealing to me. Great job on weaving that theme.

Keep writing!
Disneyland16 chapter 16 . 1/11/2015
Wait... I love Wulfe and Cypress together! I dont want any love triangles! Ah! Please update and keep cypress and wulfe together!
PoshKimberlee chapter 16 . 1/11/2015
Yes! finally a update , I hope you continue to spoil me with them️
Guest chapter 15 . 9/19/2014
Just started reading this story and loved it! Please update again soon!
The Phoenix Girl chapter 15 . 9/7/2014
Yay an update :D thank you! I really enjoyed reading the new chapter :D
Guest chapter 15 . 9/6/2014
More ! You haven't written in a while you owe us lolol ...
story chapter 15 . 9/6/2014
Killing her friends is a sure fire way to make her hate him. He's on the side of an evil ruler who is suppressing her subjects. He's on the wrong side...why?...he knows it too, is it for wealth? fame?
Guest chapter 15 . 9/6/2014
Girl I need MOREEEEE 3 chapters per day
Red Cerberean Sanguine chapter 10 . 6/6/2014
Romance is usually not my cup of tea, though I liked your writing style in the beginning and how you could describe a vivid, fantasy type of story without over-doing it. Of course there were still times with the foreplay where I was rolling my eyes and thinking, "Okay, come on..." I like more of a Jane Eyre romance, something with a lesson, deep meaning, or moral to it, I wanted to see more of Cypress weighing her dignity and assessing the situation realistically. I liked how in prior chapters you kept a handle on these aspects: what was going on inside your characters, between them, and outside them. You started losing focus on the outside them part, as before we see Cypress remark on how Wulfe is being delusional and the whole disorder of the circumstance is clear, now it seems she's caught up in herself and sliding between accepting Wulfe and rejecting him. Maybe you meant to cease the reflecting comments on their relationship realistically? I like a realistic, brutal touch, it sets you apart from the generic Twilight-ish Fifty Shades of Gray-ish types of romances, and it seems you dropped it at this point. Perhaps you like the generic style, but I miss what you had before.

And the cross? Ehhhhh... I thought it was such a cliché and out of place. I wasn't getting any meaning from it, it was an annoying third-wheeler detail. No cliché's please!
ElektraMackenzie chapter 14 . 11/13/2013
Arghhh update soon please?!
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