|Reviews for Meandering Thoughts|
| thewhimsicalbard chapter 1 . 3/20/2011
First of all, thanks for the review, and sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you.
You have good ideas in this poem, and you do a pretty good job of getting it out there. You used internal rhyme particularly well. Also, you have a good sense for combining unrelated images to paint a very specific picture.
On a concritical note, whatever stanza breaks and line breaks you had were eaten by FP formatting. That, combined with a general lack of punctuation, works against you in terms of how easy your poem is to read.
Good stuff, and thanks for the review, man! Hope to see you back a little bit more often!
| this wild abyss chapter 1 . 3/20/2011
This was a very nice poem. I loved how you strung the words into elegant phrases and really made the most of syntax and literary devices. That aspect of this made the poem really unique and strong.
One thing you could do to improve this would be to separate this into distinct stanzas, because the way it is now, the one huge block of text makes the piece less smooth. Even a little thing like that would really help the flow, I think.
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