|Reviews for Aftermath|
| Crimson Hero chapter 2 . 7/8/2015
I liked the scene where Alani freaked out over the illusion of the fire, even though I feel like it could have been written slightly better. That, along with the description of her looking beat up after capturing him, made her more realistic in my eyes.
'My skin crawls as if something is crawling up my arms' I'm sorry if this seems like a nitpick, but this sentence is just awkward to read. I would suggest changing it.
Overall a good chapter. It's a bit short, but that really isn't much of a problem.
| Crimson Hero chapter 1 . 7/6/2015
This chapter was pretty good. you managed to describe the setting fairly well, and I liked your descriptions of the characters, especially Ezla. I had a couple problems with it though.
I feel like Alani's age is a bit too unrealistic.I doubt a 17 year old would be capable of mastering more than 2 languages, let alone all of them. I also feel like some of the dialogue is a bit stiff in some areas. It's fine other than that, though.
| Midan no Hatake chapter 4 . 12/8/2014
Aaannnd cue mysterious other bounty hunter, Alani's past and the beginning of the adventure. I'm hoping this new bountry hunter has a good back story and more of Alani's intentions and goals become clear. Also, what's up with the baby dragon?
| Midan no Hatake chapter 2 . 12/7/2014
I may bit off here but Alani seems a little flat to me. I'm not certain on how to pinpoint it, just that she doesn't have much interaction yet to bring out the finer points of her personality.
| Midan no Hatake chapter 1 . 12/5/2014
Yes, by any and all means, continue this. One of the most fascinating first chapters I've read in a good long while. I love your premise. You seem to have the world planned out and -look! A mysterious door! Definitely a hook. Well done, that.
| WereMagi - Death's Messenger chapter 4 . 3/4/2013
This review is proof I have read the chapter!
" Her talons are bound, and they couldn't cut through the thick metal if they weren't."
Anyway, it's still good. Though Alani going with them suddenly... there better be something later on, some grand thing, that explain everything.
| Pie Goldfish chapter 4 . 2/10/2013
I really liked the first three chapters of this, I'm so glad you're continuing it! This one was really good. You switched between present-tense and past-tense a few times, but other than that, it was amazing. I wonder how the bounty-hunter could see Alani... o:
| WereMagi - Death's Messenger chapter 3 . 8/15/2012
Maybe it's because of all this money I am throwing at my screen that you wrote that much so fast? Because it sure ain't doing anything else but making me feel stupid my notes are getting absorbed and getting me books.
| WereMagi - Death's Messenger chapter 2 . 8/13/2012
... Why have I just found this? THIS IS FREAKING AWESOME! It's like Shards and DarkWings had a child and *poof* Aftermath.
Where do I sign up to empty my wallet for this? Because the ideas in this are killer!
| Spazthemagicbeanstalk chapter 1 . 7/7/2011
You know a stories good if the first chapter gets you hooked, can't wait to see what happens!
| Dark Fire Pixie chapter 1 . 4/7/2011
This is really good! I am really intrigued as to what's behind that door... You should definitely continue!
| Meg Krainz chapter 1 . 3/22/2011
you should continue!