Reviews for This is the real world
SomeRandomScribbles chapter 1 . 3/22/2011
This is a good poem :) There's a lot of emotion in it, and I like the refrences to specific characters.

However, the writing itself needs a bit of work - a stricter rhythmn whould help, because at the moment the poem doesn't rhyme, and a stronger connection between each line would also be good, because at the moment it's a little like a list of rhyming couplets.

But this is a good start! This piece has a lot of potential, and if you tidy it up around the edges, it could be really good :)