|Reviews for The Song That Played|
| Iva Hartnet chapter 1 . 3/27/2011
Beautiful poem :)
I loved the lyrical aspect of the whole thing! My favorite lines were definitely the opening ones, 'The haunting shadows of yesterday dance colours round my mind and bounce shivers down my spine and I'm running, running out of time...'
Those lines are very powerful.
The only thing I was a little unsure about was what these lines meant. I feel like there must be some mistake..
'but to see you, even just one more time
but make the while worth the while'
The while worth the while? I felt that didn't make too much sense. It might have fallen into place if you'd phrased it 'the wait worth the while'. I felt the line didn't read well and disturbed the flow.
But overall very good work!
| YasuRan chapter 1 . 3/23/2011
The first two lines are a great hook. 'bounce shivers down my spine' also immediately grabs my attention and gets me excited for what's about to happen next. I liked the descriptions of feeling cold and alone because they were quite unique. The concept of 'time is winning' also works wonderfully well, adding to that desperately wistful feel of the poem.
Well done :)