|Reviews for Sixgun Revenge|
| Vaden28 chapter 3 . 5/13/2011
Well, you already know that I like it so far, so I'll use this space for constructive criticism. There are minor spelling errors, nothing to worry about, but you tend to put periods where you need commas - especially when it comes to dialog. For example:
"I see." Was all Cain said.
"I see," was all Cain said.
From what you've been emailing me lately, I'm going to guess that you've already figured this out and you just wrote this beforehand (I'm a little behind in this story, sorry).
Also, take a look at the beginning of your paragraphs in chapter 3. Do you see what I see? It's not every single time, however, you tend to start your paragraphs with "Abel..." or some sort a time specifier. While that's not always a bad thing, when it's every other paragraph or more, it can get a little redundant. Try changing it up.
I don't know if you noticed, but half of chapter three is in italics...? I think you forgot to turn if off after you wrote the note...
I know, I spent this whole time telling you what needs to be fixed, but I love it. I wore my #1 Fan shirt while reading it (and writing this review) if it makes you feel better. I think highly enough of you to tell you what needs work, not that I'm perfect.
| DustyTheCowboy chapter 1 . 3/28/2011
This is a great concept, taking the bible story and turning it into a classic western revenge story! The dialogue is great and and I can't wait to see where it goes from here. Keep it up!