Reviews for Good Enough
YasuRan chapter 1 . 3/30/2011
I like how each stanza ended with 'not quite good enough for you' since it reinforces the narrator's low opinion of herself. This in turn looms harshly over the prettily-worded descriptions ('that lines of freckles along your left cheek/like footsteps on fresh snow'); the contrast leaves a sad, lovely impression on the reader's mind. I also commend you on some unique allusions like the comparison of his eyes to the sun. 'The up and down tones of your laughter' is a cute description and goes well with the note on violins that follows.

Overall, well done. You're certainly progressing :)
Word Vomit chapter 1 . 3/28/2011
Keep in mind, it's been a while since I've critiqued writing before, so don't stab me if I fail at it. :c


First stanza, I kind of...just went over "I can picture you so well." You might want to draw a bit more attention to it, make it its own line, rephrase it and add it to another line...because I just jumped into it with random descriptions for no apparent reason. Which kind of...scared me.

Good descriptions, though! You're very great at painting a picture, it just seemed weird that you'd randomly jump on that train. (Especially when the "I can picture you so well" was easily skipped over on my end, but that just might be me. xD)

I LOVE the first four lines of the second stanza. It gives me a great picture, and the metaphors you use to describe them are epic. They gave me chills.