|Reviews for The War of Wings (I): Silent Voice|
| Tony Alford chapter 1 . 2/3/2015
I have some mixed feelings regarding the prologue. The concept I find very interesting, and most of the concepts seem fairly solid. I believe my issue is possibly in the way its written, some of the grammar makes it slightly difficult to follow certain thoughts. Also the progression of the prologue seems a bit rushed. My personal recommendation is to use a bit more time expounding on Life breath and this wear before jumping into the discussion of the main character, as the transitions seem a bit rough. Having said all of that the concept is interesting, mixing eastern and western mythos. I'll keep reading and see where it goes.
| Danny Barefoot chapter 33 . 3/12/2014
Seems good, very good description all over.
| Flabbergasted Flock chapter 2 . 7/2/2012
"The eagle flew away with its pray, never even touching the ground in the process of hunting, gathering and departing.
A scorpion has risen from the sand and attacked a spider that stepped carefully from the shadow of a rock to find its pray. Spider, now becoming the pray itself, looked small and fragile compared to the scorpion. It never stood a chance."
*prey. not pray
| Skyethestarlitangel chapter 1 . 10/23/2011
I liked your descriptions of power, but to many commas. Other than that it was a pretty good prologue.
| Flabbergasted Flock chapter 1 . 10/9/2011
You should continue writing. :D
| TryHardOriginal chapter 2 . 9/25/2011
Ugh I can't private message... so I'll just review you again to talk to you.
I read the prolouge and a little of the first chapt but I couldn't find the motivation to keep reading.
| TryHardOriginal chapter 1 . 9/25/2011
I think you're jumping a bit too fast and there's no build up with the story here.
I'm sorry but I don't think I'll read the rest.
| 999999999999999999999999999999 chapter 1 . 8/6/2011
I have to say, this is extremely well written, the base plot is well thought out, and all in all it is exremely good. I think I speak for a huge portion of this site, namely the grammar nazi portion, when I say that you NEED to not only spellcheck, but do a read through. in the very first sentence there is an error. While this is an amazing story, errors like these detract from it and dont allow readers to enjoy it for waht it is, an amazing story. Peace,
Riyin Nos Reche