Reviews for Burning Sun Over The Desert
AppleCrumble chapter 1 . 10/3/2011
Wow, this is great. I haven't heard of Choka before but I liked it as a poem. Well done great job.

Would you read my poem

Chapter's Of Our Lives

please, if you have a spare moment.

Again, a brilliant poem! :-D
nickyO chapter 1 . 4/15/2011
I'm not sure if I'm interpreting this poem right. I'm reading it as a comment on a relationship, that the relationship is at an end or never to have begun because the protagonist recognizes it to be destructive. Am I close?
Melanie Layugan chapter 1 . 4/5/2011
Wow. Breathtaking. I am in awe.

Keep it up!
Saigishin 13 Hiyamoto chapter 1 . 4/1/2011
is choka called waka too? I wrote one of these I may have called it the wrong this... japanese poetry is so interesting to me...

I like this one, kind of sad
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 4/1/2011
I didn't get the ending. I was confused as to whether it was the spots or the heart that was declining to be consumed by a tomb. It seemed like the spots which didn't really make sense to me...

I did like the first three lines. Using viewing was good because the reader read it as a visual. I also did like the last line. You basically described dying but in a really interesting way.
Punslinger chapter 1 . 3/31/2011
This is very impressive. I don't know enough about the choka poetic form to be able to tell if you strictly followed it. But the poem's message has a powerful impact.
Insanity Streak chapter 1 . 3/31/2011
This made me think of when a lover wants to kill her/himself for love but cannot do it, because we as humans have such an intense will to live. The last four lines is what made me think of this. The use of the two words dagger and tomb also made me think of Romeo and Juliet and how they killed themselves for love's sake.

Also, I really likes how you manipulated the saying "A leopard can never change its spots" or something along those lines. It fits really nicely with the poem and it reinforces what I think that, as much as you intend to want to kill yourself for love, your natural instincts have other ideas!

I'm not sure how the title was connected with the poem. Maybe it wasn't supposed to- creative license and all that jazz. I don't know, it just seemed a little out of place the title.

Anyway, great job with this one.
Random-Idiocity chapter 1 . 3/31/2011
Great job, nicely done. Keep it Up!