A beautiful poem. I especially liked the first five lines.

I agree with the review before,

this is a nice simple poem with nice simple imagery (thats not a bad thing, saves from overcomplication which can sometimes ruin the prose)

However because of the punctuation, the flow is very strangled at the start and i found myself having to read it three times before i understood, maybe thats just me though.

Keep writing though, in time everyone gets better :)

A nice piece of work - simple, yet to-the-point and clear-cut. If I made one suggestion, it might be to put the first letter of each word on a new line in lowe-case rather than upper case, except when you begin a new sentence. I think that might make it flow better. Either way, I enjoyed reading this!

If you've time, check out my poetry blog too:

onemorelittleline.