Reviews for Ragdoll |
---|
![]() ![]() ![]() I loved this story! |
![]() ![]() This is an amazing story ;*( it's so moving... Well written. |
![]() ![]() ![]() What a fecking coward I am not surprised he took the easy way out. At least he's gone for good. Rot in Hell. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Cliffhangers suck! Lucky for me this story was completed almost a year ago so I don't have to wait! What does Marissa know? And thanks for Guy she needed him and again he is a perfect as reality will allow. |
![]() ![]() ![]() First I want to say you are magnificent and magical having a few close friends who were sexually abused has always made this topic very personal a soul crushing. You have done a fine job of creating this story you've had happy moments as well as tragic. You are beautiful. I had to get that out if the way. In the end of the previous ch when Bently's mother died I actually said out loud "good" and the was even before we knew the truth of what Natalie knew. I hated her from the slap at dinner and the confession and not believing Bently I know it's a lot for any parent to half but if my son told me he was abused even by his own father I would be devestated but believe my son. Then to find out she knew all along so that they could have a more comfortable life; sham on her. I am more mad at the mother Han Elliot. Only a few ch left and I can't wait but I am also sad about an ending. |
![]() ![]() ![]() 1) Erick seems like a good guy but don't really have a sense of his character. 2) Guy is perfect but in a realistic way he was frustrated and anger but not at Bently. 3) I really hate Bently's mom got PG, it's great for drama but it won't end well. |
![]() ![]() ![]() It's disgusting the guilt and resposablity Bently carries when it's not hers! Not only has she has to endure the physical & emotional violation from Elliot but she has to be afraid to hurt her family. I was very surprised she confessed to Guy but also very happy I hope he can help her to tell her parents before the mother gets knocked up w/ Elliot's demon seed. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I'm usually on top of things but it didn't occur to me until Bently said it her anal rape and his uncommon roughness was punishment for Guy, as if this man hasn't taken enough from Bently he tries to take her future happiness. I hope he meets an unkind end. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I'm not naive or stupid I knew what Elliot has done to Bentley but reading it made my chest hurt and I hardly breathed. The slow play of getting to know Bentley and then getting to know her family in particular Elliot was perfect. It made her rape worse (not that it was ever nice) and the fact that he was so forceful with her was horrendous. And on the topic of Blind Melon I was in Jr High when they came out personally my favorite is he cover song "Three is a Magical Number" (originally a School House Rock song). |
![]() ![]() ![]() Bentley is a very relatable girl in an awful situation. I like the conflict she feels loving her uncle but he is doing unspeakable things to her. Anna seems to be a great anchor for Bentley making her be the young beautiful girl she is and am most interested the new teacher/camp guy I hope he can continue to help her as he did in the past. |
![]() ![]() Hi! I just finished reading your story, amazing job by the way - it's so hard to finish once you've started :) From a critical perspective, your story is wonderful but I think there wasn't enough background research, as you're writing on a very serious topic, I felt that most of the story required research into what a victim of abuse would actually feel like (the psyche of it all) and also the legal aspects for example the first thing Marissa and Guy should have done is called the authorities! Your story is fantastic and the dedication put into it is obvious, you're a great writer! This is just constructive criticism for next time ;) Keep Writing! Joy x |
![]() ![]() ![]() I'm not going to be cruel with my comments :D! I love your book. I hate Elliot, love Guy, and have sympathy for Bently. I guess those are expected emotions, but appreciation is appreciation. Okay, just had to say that :). On to more reading! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Very nicely done. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Whaaaaa! This was so random. Hmm So I have a few issues with the story, although its not bad overall. First, how old IS Guy? You never really say. Second issue: Guy. When he was first introduced I wasn't sure if you were showing him as a creep or as a love interest. I understood that Bentley was into him, but I couldn't tell if you were gonna take the legal route and say that the relationship was totally inappropriate (which it was) or if it was going to be kept on the down low. Then, after you got them into a relationship, you jumped ahead three months and I had no time to decide if I even liked Guy or not - the end result was total indifference. Another issue was her reactions to the abuse she was going through. Now I don't know anything about the psychology of victims, but for some reason the way you did it didn't seem right (idk why, its just how I feel). The most frustrating thing, however, was Guys reaction when he learned about the abuse: nothing. Why didn't he tell someone? As a teacher shouldn't he know to report something like that, and even more than that, care that his girlfriend was being abused? Oh! And then when they first had sex when you wrote that his eyes were more jealous than mad, well that was just insane to me. Jealous? No. Mad would be a much better reaction. Oh yeah one last bit. Chapter 15. Totally unnecessary detail. Like, I was uncomfortable and I've read some bad shit in my days lol. I basically skipped the chapter to be honest. Of course, that's just my opinion I'm sure some people liked the backstory aspect of it but... Meh. Okay. Now I seriously don't mean to crazy flame, but I can't help but think that a story revolving around this kind of situation deserves some more accuracy to back it up. My advice? Do more thorough research next time. Rather than use Google, use a psychology book. Consider the weight of decisions that create your characters; for example: would someone seriously not tell the cops about abuse if they REALLY loved them? Logic will always trump drama when it comes to writing and getting better feedback. All that said, take into consideration that I actually did read this much of the story as well as take this much time to write such a thorough review. Usually if I think a story is hopeless I just stop reading and move onto the next. Yours has potential, though, and while I know this is all recreation writing I can't help but believe that some professionalism has to go into that work. Okay so to summarize: not a bad story overall, but has some major flaws that could have been easily fixed. I liked Anna loads, as well as Bentley's dad - they take the cake for best characters in my book (of course I like the good guys the best heh). Good luck writing in the future and I really think you've got potential as long as you keep at it! Oh yeah, and your dialogue grammar is a bit off. With commas/period usage. Thats just a good thing to know how to do correctly - for papers and in life :P Okay I'm done nit-picking you! I'm sorry and GOODbye :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() This story was so good! I loved it :) |