Reviews for Bored In Class
Murphy Chapelwood chapter 7 . 9/4/2018
This is a neat compact story. It had a good roundness to it, and the Indian dialect registers in the narrative voice (Gupta sir, Maya ma'am). There was some confusion with the debate line, "Being a Good Classmate Is..." and while I do understand the essence of it, I'm not sure how "trigger warning" goes with the concept of social responsibility versus money challenges. Also, the "One True Pair" sounds odd to an American reader, I translated it as "soulmates."

I enjoyed the amorality of the story. The narrator has a pang of conscience, but for the most part, is wrapped up in their obsession. There are elements of karma (the cold shared by the inconsiderate chewing of the pen borrowers) and even, maybe, destiny (the coming together of Vikram and Sheila), though I believe I would like to have seen a brief exchange between Vikram and Sheila earlier, perhaps her ratting him out to the TA to get his phone confiscated. It perhaps could make their uniting at the end more surprising to the reader...

Overall, nice work.
Ventracere chapter 7 . 12/4/2015
I had no idea where this was going to go, but this is cute! I'm going to work my way back up from this one, but ha! OTP! You really made me smile with that one. The ending felt like more of a "oh, here you go!" in a good kind of way. I wouldn't have imagined that this was how it would end, but I think it clinched everything together. Another thing that I enjoyed was how everything came full circle. It started with how the protagonist is really particular about her pens. And now, at the end, she has another reason to be particular about her pens - she's got something to remind her of her someone. Did I mention this is cute? I'll do it again.

Overall, this is a pretty short piece. You don't waste time with regaling us with details that we don't know and keep everything pretty lowkey. I'm a big fan of that since I don't have to worry that I'm missing a couple details here and there that'll come back later and bite. This is a smooth, well paced piece.

Thanks for the read!
Trailwink chapter 7 . 9/3/2015
This story/ random dialogue is really cute because of its simple humour. Although the appearance of so many random characters is confusing, I like how in every chapter the main character has an interesting and consistent personality. Also, I think the dialogue sounds natural and is well written.
TheGirlWhoRambled chapter 7 . 8/25/2015
Heheh, glad to know I’m not the only one in the world who’s possessive about her stationary :P This chapter was very satisfying because of that and once again amusing. Even though she has no name and the chapters are short you’ve done a great job of conveying the girl’s character and various quirks. By the way, I’m assuming she’s the same girl from the last chapter, going by the summary xD

Here’s some typos:

“In less-than-stellar shape” should be “In a less-than-stellar shape”

“I guess he he saw me looking” extra ‘he’.

“Iwatched as he frantically” Missing a space.
TheGirlWhoRambled chapter 6 . 8/25/2015
I liked the twist at the end xD I feel sorry for the guy, thinking this girl’s gone to all this effort and broken her moral code to help him, only… She hasn’t really, he just jumped to conclusions :P Humour is not one of my strong points, so I admire you on creating it so easily. Even though the chapter was short and I usually prefer longer ones, it was entertaining and felt like a good length.

Anyway, here’s a few errors I noticed:

“so you also come” This should be: “so you should come too”, or something like that :P

“Oye!” – This may just be me but I’ve always thought that word was spelt “Oi!” At least, that’s how we spell it in my country xD
echogirlcapri chapter 1 . 8/24/2015
Awwww... Rehanna reminds me a bit too much of "Rihanna," but I still love the idea of an idealistic boy and a skeptical-but-not-too-much-so girl. And Indian engineering college? I know nothing about that so I hope maybe I'll learn something new :)

The only thing that bugs me is that the whle chapter is in italics. Seems unnecessary and I hate reading italics.. something about the slant hurts my eyes. Ugh, that's really nitpicky... Sorry. I just think it'd be better in normal type :P

Typo: Should be 'You. Obviously.' (Missing second quotation)

Otherwise, Love it!

PS. I'm Capri from the Roadhouse
Hedonistic Opportunist chapter 7 . 8/23/2015
This is ...interesting, for lack of better word really. I feel it's part of a bigger whole, and yup, the summary confirms so XD.

I like it, because this is dissocated enough from the other chapters, I believe, that you're not rendered confused or left out by not having read everything else. In fact, I think this works perfectly as a standalone: it's a lovely insight into the daily lives of students in India, and how they deal with the various short-comings of both fellow pupils and teachers.

I like your approach to these insights, because they're humourous (the diseased black pen, surprise tests not being surprise tests), but also just very true to life – I think so because there's a very natural tone to this piece that is neither over the top nor too saucy/bitter. It's just the insight of someone who's like most of us: rather resentful of people being disruptive but still nice enough to do small acts of kindness (reluctantly, but I'm like this too so XD).

I enjoy the references to uni life, like surprise quizzes or algorithms; there's a very realistic tone to this this, especially in light of professors who aren't subtle about anything, and where it's easy to memorise their rountine. I also like the Indian feel to this, which is made obvious to the names, the currency used and other small hints (I'm half Indian, so I know :P).

It's a fun piece, overall.
solacing chapter 6 . 8/19/2015
Cute story. I loved the ending haha. I like how he thought she was helping him out, it was cute, then it was funny to discover that she had merely been tapping her foot. :P

The only thing I want to point out is the incorrect punctuation; you should be using " instead of ', but other than that, nice work!
Shampoo Suicide chapter 7 . 2/8/2015
This was very cute! I like that the narrator seems removed from the two people being watched and that the connection is this pen, I think that was a neat trick. I also really love the voice of the narrator, it was sort of formal in a way that fits a person who is super anal about their stationary. I found this humorous as well, and enjoyed the small victory of the narrator over the pen chewers, heh, and the implication that these two are fated to be together. Good read!
Jalux chapter 7 . 2/8/2015
Well I think you do a decent job of showing us this particularly character and his almost OCD-like tendencies (or is he just a clean freak?) and kind of fed us the backstory without dumping it on us. I'd like to see more of these character's friends before I make a judgement but they seem reasonably interesting and that's a good hook. The ending is interesting too, I'm curious to see what this pen stands for, I'm guessing it's Vikram?
Cheddar-Graham chapter 6 . 2/8/2015
For the RG EF

I have no idea how the typical Indian engineering college works, but I think you do a great job establishing setting through little things like the characters' names and the inclusion of that little non-English line. I would have liked more details though, to help set apart this piece even more from a generic college tale.

But anyway, I love the plot twist! You misled us masterfully into thinking this is a romance, and then wham! And on top of that, the twist is perfectly in line with the rest of the events - it's not a facepalm twist or a 'for the sake of it' twist. Respect.
Shampoo Suicide chapter 6 . 11/18/2014
I just happened upon this through the review game, and though you're no longer up next I enjoyed this piece and thought I'd leave a review! I like the premise behind this a lot, these vignettes of a couple in college, and also the way the first four chapters are all dialogue. I realize that's a nod to your inspiration for this work, but thought I'd comment on it because you've done it so well. The dialogue is realistic and captivating. As far as this particular bit goes, I liked the funny failed communication they had. I liked the set up for it as well as the eventual twist, and thought the writing was very clear and engaging. Well done!
metamodernmarx chapter 6 . 11/18/2014
Nice plot twist. I liked your simplistic setting of a classroom that captures the mundane atmosphere of college life, while cleverly juxtaposing the plot twist at the end which was quite unexpected. The language style is plain BUT unpretentious; that I found very honest. These 'random conversations' of yours are a good way to start experimenting with different literary forms, so keep it up!
XxLoveMakesTheWorldGoRoundxX chapter 6 . 6/24/2014
That was so cute :D I really like your general writing style as it's happy and airy, the only thing is just add a bit more details to give a layer of emotion to the layer? And remember that "Quotation marks" are for dialogue.
Hedonistic Opportunist chapter 6 . 6/24/2014
I like the Indian names and the hint of foreign language there (for personal reasons - won't expand XD), because I think it gave the story authenticity. I also think it's nice to see something set in India for once - though I would preferred more description, more vibrancy :D There's so much you can write about India, and I'm a bit saddened you chose not to indulge in that. I liked the simple writing style; it's engaging and this is an easy read, especially nice because of the little plot twist (with the girl helping her fellow student through such a creative method).

I'm usually not against present tense, but I don't quite think this was the past choice of tense for this story. But that's maybe because I felt you could have made this more immediate? Instead, you chose to start it off with the present - I think a 'medias res' approach might have been more natural, and made the present tense maybe a bit less awkward?
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