|Reviews for Not The One|
| Non.gracefulpenname chapter 1 . 9/29/2011
Saw that you reviewed something of mine(Trash to Treasure), so I'm here to return the favor! Cause I'm cool like that.
You have the skill to make this better- I know- so use it! Towards the ending where she proclaims her love, it's a bit overly cliche. Too long too. Keep it short and simple. How long do our conversations last? How long does somebody speak without being interrupted?
You could do that actually; make him interupt her with a 'but I love her.' or something like that.
Awkward sentence that I noticed:
Hardly ever would I be in such situations again, but they all happened, it wasn't and impossibility.
felt a bit weird..
| o'grady chapter 1 . 9/11/2011
i just don't know what to say i am, for one speechless.
| nosirrah24 chapter 1 . 4/6/2011
This is awesome! It's so sad, but beautiful at the same time. Nicely done. You're brilliant, love!