Reviews for There was a Time
EternalDarkAngel chapter 1 . 8/1/2011
Wow! Is it wrong to say I love this? I love poems in general even if I have no clue what they mean, but the way the words just flow together...almost like a song. Idk but this was clever and beautiful. Something you don't see everyday :)
Nivek01 chapter 1 . 6/13/2011
I just read your life poem, and was all giddy and happy. And then...

Hoooooooly shit this came out of nowhere.

Uh, right, criticisms...

Poetry isn't my strong point, so I can't tell you anything about the syntax. But I can say this...

There is such a thing as putting too much emotion into your work. Letting your biases, your prejudices, your religious beliefs bleed too much onto your work can negatively impact it, especially when you're writing darker material. You can easily suffocate your reader.

And that's what this is. Suffocating. Or it would be, if it were longer. This way, we get just a taste of bitterness. But it's enough.

(On a completely unrelated note, who was it? FB me)
Raebie chapter 1 . 4/10/2011
Good to hear from ya again!

This was very sad. I like it. Especially "which stirred a magnificent bell to resonate in a gloomy iron chasm." Very good descriptives.